Eddie Murphy: Slide

Tower Heist

Slide

Josh Kovacs: To get in the building, we have to avoid seven exterior cameras and six doormen who work at two entrance points in rotating shifts. Once inside, we'll be faced with four security officers who monitor a bank of twelve internal cameras, as well as two security guards who vary the patrol route each day. If we make it through all that, we still have to get through this gauntlet of employees to get to the elevators. Questions?
Slide: Yeah! Who that girl in the red dress? She got the kind of titties I like to play with.
Charlie: That's Mary-Ann from sales; she's a lesbian.
Josh Kovacs: Okay, that's irrelevant.
Mr. Fitzhugh: Mary-Ann is a lesbian? She was married when she sold me my unit.
Charlie: She makes lesbian sex with Lynn Rutherford from accounting.
Josh Kovacs: Okay.
Mr. Fitzhugh: Lynn is a lesbian?
Enrique Dev'Reaux: Wait, I'm lost. How many lesbians total do we have to avoid?
Josh Kovacs: None; we're not avoiding lesbians.
Slide: I don't avoid lesbians at all; I seek lesbians out. Lesbians got the nicest titties. Straight women, they have guys pulling and yanking on them and sweating on them. Lesbians get touch delicately by other lesbians; It's nice.
Josh Kovacs: Did anyone just take in what I just said?
Charlie: Well, it seems like there's a gauntlet of lesbians.
Josh Kovacs: No. The... Alright, I'm just gonna keep going.

[from trailer]
Slide: Today I teach you how to pick a lock with a bobby pin! Here's your bobby pin, here's your bobby pin, and here's your punk-ass bobby pin! You unlock the door, or you gonna freeze to death! I'm gonna be inside having sex with Rita!
Mr. Fitzhugh: Who's Rita?

[from trailer]
Slide: How come you bailed me out? Man, I don't even know your name!
Josh Kovacs: You don't remember Mrs Schaltzberg? We used to get dropped at her house every day for daycare! Heavy-set German woman, short goatee.
Slide: You the little seizure boy that's having seizures all the time!
Josh Kovacs: Asthma doesn't cause seizures!

[from trailer]
Slide: You know this was a bad idea, right?
Josh Kovacs: That's it, I don't want you talking to me for the rest of the robbery!

[from trailer]
Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
Slide: If you get shot in your HEAD, it's over. If you get shot in your FACE, the bullet will go through your cheek and come out the other side! Then, what you gonna do?
Mr. Fitzhugh: Die! I'm gonna die!

[from trailer]
Odessa Montero: First thing you gotta do, you gotta find the entry point. You gotta use your fingers, and you find the entry point.
[Slide looks at Odessa]
Odessa Montero: You married?
Slide: No, I ain't married. What's up?

Odessa Montero: You mess with me, you're a dead man. NOW DROP IT!
Slide: Okay, alright, alright, alright. I'm putting it down right now. Take it easy.
[drops his gun]