- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Give me a minute, I'm good. Give me an hour, I'm great. Give me six months, I'm unbeatable.
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: [justifying his newly adopted non-violent attitude, he quotes Gandhi] "Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary."
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: [answers with his own Gandhi quote] "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: WHY WE IN A FALLING TANK?
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: BECAUSE THE PLANE EXPLODED?
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: What plane? what, when?
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Recently! Reapers shot it down!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Reapers? What reapers?
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: The same ones that are trying to kill us now!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: I blame you, Hannibal!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Technically, we're not flying...
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: I know, 'cause we FALLING, fool!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [Flying the C-130] Ladies and gentleman we are expecting some slight turbulence so please remain in your seats until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelts sign. Don't worry boys, turbulence has never brought down a plane!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [Reaper drones lock on C-130, warning alarms sound] What the hell is that?
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: But, we got inbound subsonic UAVs with missile lock, and they bring down planes all the time!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: [Walking into cargo bay of C-130] Gentleman!
- C130J Pilot #1: Holy shit, that's Hannibal Smith.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Are any of you armed and/or wanted federal fugitives?
- C130J Pilot #1: No.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Well we're both, which means...
- C130J Pilot #1: You're taking the plane?
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: And that's why I joined the Army. The best and brightest. Appreciate it boys, that'll be all.
- Flight Control Commander: Are they trying to shoot down the other drone?
- Capt. Charisa Sosa: No, they're trying to fly that tank.
- [after being let out of a shipping crate he was tricked into getting into]
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: The only reason I don't kick y'all asses is 'cause y'all outrank me.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [cooking] Who wants secret sauce?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: NO! No, no, no, no, no! NOT anti-freeze!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Secret's out, you crazy! Everybody knows!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: No one can do an anti-freeze marinade like you can, Murdock, but I had a little Bells palsy last time...
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: That's only partial paralysis!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: I see you've all met Mr. Murdock.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Met him? He lit my arm on fire!
- [Murdock starts laughing]
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: He stitched a lightning bolt in mine.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Look at me, son. I'm told you're a hell of a chopper pilot.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: The best, sir.
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: I'm not gettin' on a chopper with this nutjob!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Yea, is this another one of your little 'projects'?
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: I'm a real soldier, I'm a Ranger baby!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I'm worried!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [to Hannibal] I'm a Ranger, sir.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: That's good enough for me.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: General Tuco, you are currently engaged in unauthorized warfare on United States Military Personnel.
- General Javier Tuco: No no no no no no, you engaged me!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Repeat, you are engaged in unauthorized warfare on United States Military Personnel... over United States airspace.
- General Javier Tuco: What?
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith, Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Alpha. Mike. Foxtrot! In other words, Adios Mother F...!
- General Javier Tuco: Oh, no...
- [Tuco gets shot down by an F-22 Raptor]
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: [Murdock has dropped cargo crushing Baracus' van] You pancaked my van! I'm gonna kill you, fool!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: You can't park there! That's a handicap zone!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: This is a mistake!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: [the Team is escaping in the C-130] You let the real pilots go!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: BA, relax, you're gonna be fine.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [Hands BA a pill] Take one of these
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: What is this? Will it knock me out? It better knock me out because if it don't I'm gonna knock you out.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Bosco all these buttons are confusing me!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Shut up Murdock!
- [Hannibal has escaped being cremated]
- Crematorium Attendant: You... are not permitted... in my...
- [kicks open the crematory door, where Hannibal stands up, and blushes]
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: So, Satan walks into this bar.
- [the attendant faints]
- Prison Warden: Wait a minute, what is this? A lap pool, a dry steam room?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Yea it'll go a long way with the boys.
- Prison Warden: How in the hell do you pull this off?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: It's not who you know Bob, it's how you know them. Oh, did your boy get back from Afghanistan?
- Prison Warden: Yea, thanks for getting him home. His mother and I are real grateful.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [Murdock, singing as he spins on the hospital helicopter blade] You spin me right round baby, right round!
- [after being shot in the head while wearing a bulletproof mask]
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: I don't feel good, I feel sane!
- Capt. Charisa Sosa: [about Face's team] I would never tell him this, but they are the best at what they do, and they specialize in the ridiculous.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Lynch is a paradox. He's a guy who needs animosity, but he loves theatricality. He's an administrator, he's not an operator. So he stays as far away from the point of impact as possible, and never gets his hands dirty if he can help it. But we're gonna change all that. This guy is never at the flashpoint of anything, he's safe and sound somewhere pulling the strings. So we're gonna bring this guy down to ground level, the last place he'd ever want to be. Then you put him on display, for the whole world to see...
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: You Army Ranger, son?
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Be real careful what you say next, pops. And be ready to empty that burner if you start shit-talking my battalion.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Never shall I fail my comrades. Gallantly will I show the world that I'm a specially selected soldier.
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: And I will fight with all my might. Colonel Hannibal Smith. 75th Ranger Regiment.
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: 4th Battalion. Fort Benning Georgia. I know who you are sir. Corporal B.A. Baracus. I mean, it was till I was dishonorably discharged for some bullshit.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: I don't subscribe to coincidence, corporal. I believe that no matter how random things might appear, there's still a plan.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: [after being arrested again at the end] Nice plan, Face.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Yea, we just trade Lynches and now we're going back to prison.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: We returned the plates, we can hold our heads high. We did the right thing.
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Yea, and look what it got us. This is bullshit.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: They burned us again, Hannibal. We trusted the system, and it turned on us.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Remember boys, no matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan... kid.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I don't mean to steal your line, boss, but
- [shows key to handcuffs in mouth]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I love it when a plan comes together.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [about to try and shoot down drones in the tank] Hey Bosco, I'm a little stuffy. I'm gonna pop a window!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [in a Scottish accent riding a stick horse] What would you give for one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [about to let B.A. out of the trailer] Does it make sense I'm more scared now than what we just did?
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: I believe that no matter how random things may appear, there's still a plan.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: There's a plan in everything, kid, and I love it when a plan comes together.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [using a pig oven glove] Hello my name's Percy. Would you like some pork?
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: If I broke every bone in your hand, could you still do that?
- German Doctor #2: [during Murdock's electroshock therapy] He seems completely impervious to it. It's impossible to develop a base reading.
- German Doctor #1: Have you increased the voltage?
- German Doctor #2: Every single session, yes.
- German Doctor #1: And?
- [2nd doctor points]
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Is that all you got? Here we go.
- [voltage is increased, laughing]
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Yeehaw!
- [Generator burns out and the room turns black]
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Yeah, I think I might've felt something there.
- [Murdock and his fellow inmates are watching a 3D movie - The Greater Escape -. During the opening shot of a Humvee, just as it is gettting close to the screen, a real Humvee bursts out of the wall. Sosa is knocked to the ground and the entire audience applauds]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [in a British accent] Oh Captain! Your chariot awaits!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [runs and hops into the vehicle] Sorry boys, gotta run! Can't finish the movie! Do let me know how it ends!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Charissa, where you hiding? Hey, stay beautiful baby.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Punch it B.A.!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: [throws it in reverse] Let's go, fool!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [after breaking Murdock out the team speeds away from Sosa who starts firing] She's actually shooting at us!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [Murdock pokes his head out of the escape vehicle wearing 3D glasses] You should see these bullets in 3D!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: Murdock, get in here!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: It's like we're actually being shot at!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: We are getting shot at you crazy ass fool!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [after B.A almost fell out of the chopper] Close the door! I know you're airborne rangers, but that was ridiculous!
- Capt. Charisa Sosa: [Murdock is piloting down the runway in take-off mode. Sosa's driver turns right into his path] Stop! Stop, stop, stop!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Face, your girlfriend's back.
- Capt. Charisa Sosa: Reverse now!
- Ravech: Son of a bitch!
- [throws the car in reverse]
- Capt. Charisa Sosa: Move your ass now!
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: The C-130 versus the Mercedes Benz!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Lift us off Murdock!
- Lynch: I want her phones, her computers, any support packages she operates, I want to know everything! I want active intercept taps on everything she's got, I want every move monitored from this moment forwards...
- Agent Blair: You realize she's D.O.D ?
- Lynch: I don't care if she's G.O.D. ! Do it !
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [singing as he spins on the helicopter blade] You spin me right round baby, right round!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Who is this guy?
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if nobody can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, the A-Team.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I was trying to save her.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Save her?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Yeah.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: SAVE HER?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Yeah!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: How? Please do share with us your plan, Face!
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: ...okay, I hadn't thought about that yet.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Exactly! I had to!
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Your Honour, these men were acting under my command. Any judgment should be levied on me and me alone.
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Absolutely not, sir! We were all participating in this operation willingly!
- Sgt. Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: I won't be tried separately.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: I refuse to be tried separately.
- Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [Launching countermeasures against Reaper drones] You see that? That's my di-version! They die on this version!
- Lynch: So Morrison's dead, Smith and his team are dead. Another fifteen minutes or so we'll locate those engraving plates.
- Pike: This is you gloating?
- Lynch: No, this is me beating you. After you burned me. We had a deal, remember?
- Pike: Not you and me.
- Lynch: You, me and Morrison.
- Pike: Not you and me directly.
- Lynch: And you two colluded and cut me out?
- Pike: [Kyle, Lynch's agent, is preparing to shoot Pike] Hey, what are you doing?
- Lynch: Are we going to do this in the car? He's going to do it?
- Pike: [Kyle drops the silencer] Way to go, that's brilliant right there.
- Pike: What are you doing? What is he doing? Jesus.
- Lynch: How's it going Kyle, are you all right?
- Agent Kyle: I'm good.
- Pike: Brother, you are far from good. What are you doing?
- [Kyle fumbling with the silencer]
- Pike: It's a suppressor, counter clockwise. You're holding a gun like that? You've held a gun like that before and you're still here? That's amazing. Jesus, hey, final request - don't let this guy shoot me please.
- Lynch: Okay, this was not well thought out.
- Pike: No shit? I mean I gotta teach you how to kill me, hey, do me a favor, all right? Put the barrel, put the gun flush to my head.
- Agent Kyle: You sure?
- Lynch: Is that going to go right through?
- Pike: Before you hurt somebody besides me.
- [Overpowers Kyle]
- Pike: We're okay. Never cuff a man in a seated position with his hands behind his back, makes it impossible to see the hands.
- Lynch: That was cool.
- Pike: You liked that?
- Lynch: Oh I liked that, I liked that a lot.
- [to Kyle]
- Lynch: Are you all right, you idiot?
- Agent Kyle: Yeah it was a good hit.
- Lynch: Please handcuff him.
- Pike: We don't need to use them again, we don't need the cuffs. Hey, I didn't burn you, Morrison did.
- Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: How's your day going?
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: This is not going to taste good.
- [pukes]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: You beat a guy like Lynch with three things: distraction, diversion and division. Then you put him on display, for the whole world to see...
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Charissa, come on. I am a federal fugitive. You know who I am, and . I'm here because, in the end, the truth is worth the risk. And I believe in you, even if you don't believe in me. God, I forgot how beautiful you are.
- [Face sees Kyle approaching Charisa Sosa and reaching for his gun, fires two shots with a concealed pistol to make noise]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [Pointing at Kyle's direction, speaking in German] Oh, mein Gott! Er hat eine Waffe! Er hat eine Waffe! EINE WAFFE!
- ["Oh my God, he's got a gun! Right there, he's got a gun! A gun!"]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [an uproar ensues; Kyle stares at Face, dumbfounded and still reaching for his gun]
- Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [walks away] Sucker.