Masi Oka credited as playing...
Bruce
- Bruce: [as Max is escaping] Turn around slowly.
- Maxwell Smart: [turns around to find Bruce and Lloyd coming around the corner with forced angry facial expressions and Bruce holding a gun] Guys, you have to believe me I am not a double agent.
- Lloyd: We never thought you were.
- Bruce: Yeah, we love you, man.
- Maxwell Smart: Then what's with the firearm and the freak-show expression?
- Bruce: For the security camera. If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired.
- Maxwell Smart: [looks up at the camera then looks back] Got it.
- [Burce and Lloyd shuffle forward stiffly and regain fighting stances and angry expressions]
- Maxwell Smart: Where are the Chief and 99?
- Bruce: They flew to L.A. to talk to the President.
- Maxwell Smart: I need to get out of here before someone else comes to stop me.
- Bruce: I suggest you overpower us.
- Maxwell Smart: Good idea. Bruce I will smash you in the face.
- Bruce: [rather pleasantly] Thank you.
- Maxwell Smart: Lloyd, I will simulate your disembowelment.
- Lloyd: [whimpers slightly]
- Maxwell Smart: Ready? One...
- [Bruce flinches]
- Maxwell Smart: Not yet! I haven't punched you yet. React when I punch you.
- Bruce: [regains firearm] Oh, yeah.
- Maxwell Smart: One, two, three.
- [punches to the left but Bruce falls to his left]
- Maxwell Smart: Wrong way.
- Lloyd: OK, wait. You should know sometimes I faint.
- Maxwell Smart: I'm not actually going to hit you.
- Lloyd: No, but when I see blood, or talk about blood, or think about blood...
- Maxwell Smart: There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.
- Lloyd: [faints]
- Larabee: Hey, new guy. Hold up a second. Welcome to CONTROL. We have a tradition called "Pick on the new guy." Here's how it works. We pick on the new guy.
- Agent 91: And you can't do anything about it.
- Larabee: Let's try one. You dropped your pencil.
- Agent 91: Did you hear the man!
- Hymie: I don't see a man, I see two little girls. I think I'll call you Maureen, and you Brittany.
- Agent 91: New guy did not.
- Larabee: New guy did.
- Agent 91: OK, new guy...
- Larabee: I got this. And I'm going to enjoy it.
- Hymie: That will make me happy, Maureen.
- Larabee: Ho ho ho. Maureen...
- [Larabee punches Hymie in the stomach- loud metallic sound is heard]
- Larabee: OW! What's in there? Oh. Oh.
- Hymie: And just for the record.
- Larabee: Oh. Oh. What's in there?
- [Hymie staples paper to Larabee's forehead. Larabee screams]
- Hymie: My name is not "new guy". My name is Hymie. Now, if you ladies will excuse me.
- [Hymie walks away]
- Bruce: [Bruce and Lloyd hiding off to the side] This is going to be so fun.
- Lloyd: Make him high five me.
- [Hymie high fives Lloyd]
- Lloyd: Hey Max, we got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, pocket knife!
- Lloyd: Not just pocket knife. Swiss Army knife. It comes with tweezers, pliers, tiny magnifying glass...
- Bruce: Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire-crimping tool.
- Lloyd: We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons connected to 60 ft of spider silk nanothread. It has the strength of steel cable.
- Bruce: It's a time-consuming, labor-intensive technology.
- Lloyd: Spiders have to be individually milked.
- Bruce: And they do not like it.
- Lloyd: No, they don't.
- Maxwell Smart: Gentlemen, you're the best. Thanks!