The Trap Door

Trapdoor was a stop-motion animated children's 'Horror' series that left little to the imagination.

Berk, which I'm surprised was allowed as the word 'Berk' is A) An insult and B) Rhyming slang for a rather severe profane word (Berk=Berkshire Hunt=... Well, you know) was a butler with a thick Cornish accent to "The thing upstairs" (Who we never saw) but heard shouting "BERK! FEED ME!"

He's joined by Boni, a dismembered skull who sometimes ends up as a bookend or holding something upright. And Drutt, a mischievous spider with a taste for worms.

Then there is the Trap Door itself, which when left open (by Berk) would often 'let something out' and we'd follow Berk, Boni and Drutt in the hapless adventure of putting whatever escaped back down the Trap Door.

The funniest thing was the familiar dialogue in an unbelievable world. And like most British children's programmed was written so that Adults would understand also (Bonkin'?).

As a kid, I used to watch this religiously, as did my parents who also found it funny.

Absolute classic TV.

I found out about "Trap Door" when it was mentioned in a "Guardian" below the line discussion about scary children's television. It probably would have been too weird and uncanny for me when I was a child, but being a Gothic adult I love everything about it, and keep coming back to it. The Michael Jackson's "Thriller" style theme song performed by an Alice Cooper impressionist. The brilliantly designed and executed stop motion animation. Willie Rushton's engaging character voices and spot on comic timing. Above all, it's an absorbing pastiche of feudal decadence in the tradition of Mevyn Peake's Gormenghast novels, in which an aristocratic skull observes the goings-on in the kitchen of his former castle, crawling with insects and worms and inhabited by a bloblike servant and his master who are either no longer human, or never were.

I had fond memories of watching this as a kid so I went out and purchased the Trap Door DVD for £5 and I've got to say it's one of the best bargains I've ever found. Not only is it as brilliant as I remember but even the DVD menu is pure class.

Seeing Trap Door as an adult I realised just how much work must have gone into it. The sets are really wonderful and the endless squirming crawling beasties are really wonderfully animated. Claymation is a very slow business at the best of times but making things drip or appear to be thrown is just making things ten times harder for yourself but the makers of Trap Door obviously loved what they were doing and the attention to detail is just amazing.

The late Willie Rushton's voice is just the icing on the cake. He brings the show to life and fills it with personality. The great theme song is so memorable that when I slipped the DVD in I found I could sing along with the theme music even though I hadn't seen the show since I was a nipper.

I suppose you could say Trap Door episodes often have no plot and at five minutes long they end abruptly but this show is so charming and visually interesting that I don't really care. What's really nice to see is that if you show this programme to a kid these days they fall in love with it just like I did.

If The Trap Door were to debut in 2006 then it would be low-grade CGI crap with no atmosphere or icky moments. What does that tell you about the current crop of PC-trash children's programming?

As it is, The Trap Door was an icon of 80s children's television. 'ooever knew that plasticine models could be so effective? But it wasn't just that. The castle that Berk and Boni (and the Thing upstairs) lived in was such a brilliant, atmospheric set. The 'owling winds, the dead trees and the constant dark and fog really did add a lot to it.

Berk was some kind of blue creature and was also a butler/servant to the ever-unseen cockney-voiced Thing, 'oo would always complain about the noise or being 'ungry. Whenever Berk would turn his back an 'orrible monster would creep out of the Trap Door in the basement. The Trap Door led directly into the catacombs beneath the castle where an infinity of worms and diabolical nasties dwelled. They'd cause no end of trouble for poor ol' Berk. You'd think he'd learn to keep it shut.

The theme song, despite sounding very 80s, was pretty damn cool too. One particular episode devoted its entire running time to an extended version of it. But that's one of my gripes. The running time was only 5 minutes (barely) for each episode, which was a bit annoying since it always seemed to end just as it was starting.

It only lasted for two seasons for some reason. But even though they only made a handful of episodes, The Trap Door has remained popular for over 20 years and that more than you can say for children's TV of today.

Despite there being no DVD details available here, there has been a Region 2 DVD released of Series 1 & 2, that's the complete series, and you can buy it from Amazon.co.uk at around £14. Although there are no extras on the disc, its great to see this show finally get a release as it's just so hilariously funny and the late Willie Rushton does an excellent job at voicing all the strange and wonderful characters. In fact sometimes you almost forget he is the only voice talent, if nothing else this show showcases his great comic skills. A must for any child of the eighties and good clean entertainment for children nowadays. An absolute must buy. Just superb!