Phil Hendrie credited as playing...
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. • Chechnyan Terrorist
- Spottswoode: Team, if the Derkaderkastanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be 911 times a thousand.
- Sarah: Jesus, you mean...?
- Spottswoode: Yes. Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
- Chris: Well forget all these assholes! We have work to do!
- Spottswoode: Yes! Let's get Gary valmorphanized so we can use his acting!
- Gary Johnston: My acting? My ACTING?
- Gary Johnston: [rises from the steps] My acting just got a thousand people killed! Jesus, I've done it again!
- Spottswoode: Pull yourself together, Gary! We need you now more than ever!
- Gary Johnston: I'm through with this!
- Spottswoode: Gary, you can't go! Without you the team is doomed! Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
- Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is.
- Spottswoode: Team, I'm afraid I have bad news. At 7:15 this morning, the terrorists carried out their attack.
- Lisa: What?
- Sarah: But how can that be? Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
- Spottswoode: It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E was wrong about the Chechnyans being in charge. That was bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
- Intelligence: I'm sorry.
- Intelligence: Greetings, Mr Johnston.
- Intelligence: I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., what the hell happened?
- Gary Johnston: Our base was attacked by a giant socialist weasel.
- Gary Johnston: But where's the team?
- Intelligence: They have been taken prisoner by Kim Jong II in North Korea. I have intercepted communications that he is planning the massive attack during a peace ceremony.