Adam Brody: Seth Cohen

The O.C.

Seth Cohen

Seth: [rubs his boat, Summer Breeze, lovingly] Ohhh, I've missed you. It's been too long.
Ryan: You're talking to a boat, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I talk to a plastic horse too but that never worries anyone.
Ryan: It worries me.

Marissa: Hey, how come you're the brains? I'm the one who talked us back into that club.
Seth: I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
Ryan: You can be the beauty.
Marissa: Okay, thanks.
Summer: Great, and what am I, Cohen?
Seth: Uh, the boobs?
[Summer hits him]
Seth: Uh, the bitch?
Summer: Okay, I'll take the boobs.
Seth: Hey. So will I.
[Summer laughs]
Seth: [later]
Marissa: See, I think I should be the brains.
Ryan: No, Seth's the brains.
Marissa: Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
Ryan: Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
[smiles]

Seth: You can't ruin Chrismukkah. It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday.

Zach: [on Seth and Summer] Even when you're not a couple you'll always be a couple. You're Joanie and Chachi, Luke and Leia.
Seth: Um, Luke and Leia were brother and sister.
Zach: Yeah, well, may the force be with you.
[leaves]

Ryan: [Seth has been smoking pot due to stress of going to college] It's almost 3:30. Isn't your interview at 4?
Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
[looks at clock]
Ryan: Are you ready?
Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
[pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
[Ryan finds can of air freshener]
Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
[Ryan raises his eyebrows]
Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there.

Kirsten: Oh, someone, please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."
Seth: Do it, dad. Travolta's your bitch.
Sandy: Oh, thank you, son.

Marissa: [speaking loudly] Uh, what's that, Seth? Did you say you need a ride to a Star Wars convention?
[She walks into the hallway with Seth and closes the door]
Seth: The Star Wars convention? I'm sorry. Her top was off. You couldn't have at least said X-Men for me?