Peter Gallagher credited as playing...
- Sandy: So you and Summer seemed pretty chummy yesterday.
- Seth: Dad, chummy?
- Sandy: It's okay. You can tell me.
- Seth: No, really, I can't.
- Sandy: If you can't tell your dad, who can you tell?
- Seth: Gee, I don't know, ugh Ryan... Mom... that tree over there.
- Kirsten: He's a consultant.
- Sandy: Could you be please be a little more vague?
- Kirsten: He knows people.
- Sandy: You did it! That was more vague.
- Ryan: Okay, I screwed up yet again. So now what? You're going to kick me out?
- Sandy: You think you can mess up so bad we'll just give up on you? You can't. You are part of this family now and you're going to feel the full weight of that. You're going to wish we threw you out.
- Sandy: What are we fighting about?
- Kirsten: I don't know, but it's serious!
- Ryan: I appreciate you driving me down to Chino, but I can take care of this myself. This shouldn't have to be your problem.
- Sandy: Hey. If it's a Ryan problem, it's a Cohen problem.
- Anna: So I guess you and Mrs. Cohen have a lot in common...
- Sandy: Sure sure, we both love, uhh... Seth.
- Jimmy: Well, we've basically blown through our entire budget.
- Sandy: Well you're really not so good at managing the money are you Coop?
- Jimmy: No, I'm... really not.
- Kirsten: Oh, someone, please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."
- Seth: Do it, dad. Travolta's your bitch.
- Sandy: Oh, thank you, son.
- Kirsten: [on the phone with wedding planner] Colored lights, no way. White lights only because colored lights remind my father of a carnival. And he hates carnies.
- Sandy: Note to self: hang with carnies.
- Seth: Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.
- Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
- Seth: [scoffs] Dad...
- Sandy: I'm sorry, honey.
- [starts laughing]
- Kirsten: Let's just eat.
- Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
- Seth: Oh...
- [blows raspberry]
- Seth: Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
- Kirsten: That was brisket.
- Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.
- Sandy: Hey, Cal. Always a pleasure, although if I may, why are we meeting in a parking garage?
- Caleb: Because my office might be bugged. My home, your home, who knows what the Feds are up to?
- Sandy: Wow, you've really flipped your noodle haven't, you?
- Sandy: [speaking to Julie about the guy blackmailing her over her role in an '80s porn movie] You handle Marisa and I'll handle the Colonel.
- Julie: That's a Boogie Nights reference.
- Sandy: Expect a lot of them.
- Sandy: What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.
- Sandy: Don't ever get married!
- Ryan: I've heard that from you before.
- Sandy: Oh, you'll hear it again. I'll be at the bar.
- Caleb Nichol: It's always cause'a Kirsten. When you railroaded my dinner, was that cause'a her too?
- Sandy: No. That one was for you.
- Sandy: I never knew you to be an impulse shopper.
- Tom Willington: Sandy Cohen, working on the weekend.
- Sandy: Tom Willington, as I live and breathe.
- Kirsten: It would be nice if Uncle Sean could be here.
- Sandy: Not if we have to pay for the bar tab.
- Sandy: And you know, they do find foster home for kids your age.
- Seth: Yeah, because everyone wants a brand new teenager.
- [everyone stares at him]
- Seth: I'm sorry if I'm the only one here that will state the obvious...
- Kirsten: Seth.
- Seth: - But we have all this extra room, right? We have a pool house. Yet, you guys are going to ship him off to a group home. Am I the only one who gets how much that sucks?
- Seth: [Graduation is that day] When they announce my name, uh, could you *not* do that cheer you did for me when I won Capture the Flag at parents' weekend?
- Sandy: W-which cheer was that? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Check out my boy Cohen! Can you believe how he's growin? The competition away he's blowin!
- Seth: That's the one. Please don't do that. Ever.
- [They smile and laugh]
