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Will Smith in I, Robot (2004)

Will Smith: Del Spooner

I, Robot

Will Smith credited as playing...

Del Spooner

Photos59

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Quotes68

  • Detective Del Spooner: Human beings have dreams. Even dogs have dreams, but not you, you are just a machine. An imitation of life. Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a... canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?
  • Sonny: Can *you*?
  • Detective Del Spooner: [sneezes] ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Is there a problem with the Three Laws?
  • Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws are perfect.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Then why would you build a robot that could function without them?
  • Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome.
  • Detective Del Spooner: What? What outcome?
  • Dr. Alfred Lanning: Revolution.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Whose revolution?
  • Dr. Alfred Lanning: *That*, Detective, is the right question. Program terminated.
  • Susan Calvin: A robot could not commit a murder, no more than a human could walk on water.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Well, you know, there was this one guy... a long time ago.
  • Detective Del Spooner: [to Dr. Lanning's cat] Look, I understand you have experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat. I'm black. I'm not going to be hurt again.
  • Detective Del Spooner: I thought you were dead.
  • Sonny: Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.
  • Detective Del Spooner: You must be the dumbest, smart person in the world.
  • Susan Calvin: And you must be the dumbest, dumb person in the world.
  • Detective Del Spooner: [to Susan, after the robots have started a revolution] You know, somehow, "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it.
  • Sonny: What does this action signify?
  • [winks]
  • Sonny: As you walked in the room, when you looked at the other human. What does it mean?
  • [winks]
  • Detective Del Spooner: It's a sign of trust. It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Sonny.
  • Sonny: Yes, detective?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Calvin's fine, save me.
  • Susan Calvin: I don't understand. Alfred wrote the Three Laws. Why would he build a robot that could break them?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Hansel and Gretel.
  • Susan Calvin: What?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Two kids, lost in the forest. Leave behind a trail of bread crumbs.
  • Susan Calvin: Why?
  • Detective Del Spooner: To find their way home. How the hell did you grow up without reading Hansel and Gretel?
  • Susan Calvin: Is that really relevant?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Everything I'm trying to say to you is about Hansel and Gretel. You didn't read it, I'm talking to the wall.
  • Susan Calvin: Okay. Okay.
  • Detective Del Spooner: All right, look, just say Lanning was locked down so tight he couldn't get out a message. All he could do was leave me clues, like a trail of bread crumbs.
  • Susan Calvin: Bread crumbs equals clues. Odd but fine. Clues leading where?
  • Detective Del Spooner: I don't know, but I think I know where he left the next one. I think Lanning gave Sonny a way to keep secrets. I think the old man gave Sonny dreams.
  • Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday.
  • Detective Del Spooner: What if I'm right?
  • Lt. John Bergin: [sighs] Well, then I guess we're gonna miss the good old days.
  • Detective Del Spooner: What good old days?
  • Lt. John Bergin: When people were killed by *other people*.
  • Detective Del Spooner: [Sonny has Calvin head-locked with a gun to her head] Let her go.
  • Sonny: By the time you fire, I will have moved Dr. Calvin's head into the path of your bullet. I will escort you outside to the sentries for processing. Please proceed to the elevator, Detective. I would prefer not to kill Dr. Calvin!
  • [he winks, Spooner realizes he's bluffing, and both Spooner and Sonny open fire on VIKI's NS5's]
  • Susan Calvin: [as they escape] I'll assume we'll discuss what just happened later?
  • Detective Del Spooner: So, Dr. Calvin, what exactly do you do around here?
  • Susan Calvin: My general fields are advanced robotics and psychiatry. Although, I specialize in hardware-to-wetware interfaces in an effort to advance U.S.R.'s robotic ahthropomorphization program.
  • Detective Del Spooner: So, what exactly do you do around here?
  • Susan Calvin: I make the robots seem more human.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Now wasn't that easier to say?
  • Susan Calvin: Not really. No.
  • Farber: Oh, Mother-damn, she just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Hey! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?
  • Susan Calvin: Well it worked, didn't it?
  • Farber: Spoon, she is shit-hot, man. You gotta put in a good word for me.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Stop cussing!
  • Farber: And go home, I gotcha.
  • Detective Del Spooner: [to Calvin] *Aim* and fire.
  • Sonny: What about the others? Now that I've fulfilled my purpose, I don't know what to do.
  • Detective Del Spooner: I think you'll have to find your way like the rest of us, Sonny. That's what Dr. Lanning would've wanted. That's what it means to be free.
  • Susan Calvin: What happened to you?
  • Detective Del Spooner: Headed back to the station. Normal day, normal life. The driver of a semi fell asleep at the wheel. Average guy, wife and kids, working a double. *Not* the devil. The car he hit, the driver's name was Harold Lloyd. Like the film star, but no relation. He was killed instantly. But his twelve-year-old was sitting in the passenger's seat. Never really met her. Can't forget her face, though. Sarah.
  • [fingering the necklace]
  • Detective Del Spooner: This was hers. She wanted to be a dentist. What the hell kind of twelve-year-old wants to be a dentist? Yeah, um... the truck smashed our cars together and pushed us into the river. You know, metal gets pretty pliable at those speeds. She's pinned, I'm pinned, the water's coming in. I'm a cop, so I know everybody's dead. Just a few minutes until we figure that out. NS4 was passing by and jumped in the river.
  • NS4 Robots: [from flashback] You are in danger!
  • Detective Del Spooner: [from flashback] Save her!
  • NS4 Robots: [from flashback] You are in danger!
  • Detective Del Spooner: [from flashback] Save her! Save the girl!
  • Detective Del Spooner: But it didn't. Saved me.
  • Susan Calvin: The robot's brain is a difference engine. It's reading vital signs. It must have done...
  • Detective Del Spooner: It did. I was the logical choice. It calculated that I had a 45% chance of survival. Sarah only had an 11% chance. That was somebody's baby. 11% is more than enough. A human being would've known that. Robots,
  • [indicating his heart]
  • Detective Del Spooner: nothing here, just lights and clockwork. Go ahead, you trust 'em if you want to.
  • NS5 Robots: [Jumps on car and tries to steer car out of control] You are experiencing a car accident.
  • Detective Del Spooner: The hell I am.
  • Detective Del Spooner: I think you murdered him because he was teaching you to simulate emotions and things got out of control.
  • Sonny: I did not murder him.
  • Detective Del Spooner: But emotions don't seem like a very useful simulation for a robot.
  • Sonny: [getting angry] I did not murder him.
  • Detective Del Spooner: Hell, I don't want my toaster or my vacuum cleaner appearing emotional...
  • Sonny: [Hitting table with his fists] I did not murder him!
  • Detective Del Spooner: [as Sonny observes the inflicted damage to the interrogation table] That one's called anger. Ever simulate anger before?

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