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The Haunted Mansion (2003)

Wallace Shawn: Ezra

The Haunted Mansion

Wallace Shawn credited as playing...

Ezra

Photos16

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Quotes6

  • Jim: Wait a minute. You're telling me this guy is dead, and the only reason we were brought here is he wants to get jiggy with my wife.
  • Ezra: Pretty much. Are you upset?
  • Jim: The guy is dead, and he's trying to get with my wife. And the house isn't really for sale. Yes, I'm upset.
  • Emma: [grabbing the reins from Ezra] Move over.
  • Ezra: What are you doing?
  • Emma: If you keep driving, you'll kill us all.
  • Ezra: Well that's where you're wrong, because some of us are already dead. Ha-ha!
  • [Emma is carrying a lot of cases for the trip to heaven]
  • Ezra: [indicating the cases] What's all this?
  • Emma: Well, I don't know what we'll need.
  • Ezra: What are you talking about? We're going to heaven. You can't take it with you.
  • Emma: The hell I can't!
  • [starts giggling]
  • [Emma and Ezra has discovered the children in the attic]
  • Emma: Are you kids hungry? Does anybody want a cookie?
  • Ezra: Cookies? Don't offer them cookies. They're trespassers. Trespassers don't get cookies. This is none of their concern.
  • Emma: [angrily] It is their concern. They're involved.
  • Jim: Well, great, I'm in, let's get this key!
  • Megan: There's only one problem: how do we get out of here?
  • Jim: Yeah, how do we get out of here?
  • Ezra: Well, there's always, uh... my way.
  • [cut to ghostly horse-drawn carriage crashing through the wall of the Mansion]
  • Jim: [just escaped from the haunted musical instruments that were chasing him and runs into Michael, Megan, Ezra and Emma] Michael! Megan, you okay?
  • Megan: We're fine, thanks.
  • Jim: Alright, get your things. Let's get out of here. Let's go.
  • Megan: But dad, we have a problem.
  • Jim: What? Because of the rain? Look, we're gonna get a little wet. Let's just find your mom and let's get out of here. Let's go!
  • Ezra: I'm afraid that's not possible. She can't leave!
  • Jim: And why not?
  • [Ezra apparates from upstairs, right behind Jim, startling him]
  • Ezra: Because she can't! If l could tell you, l would. But l can't, so l won't, okay?
  • Jim: Hey, how'd you... Hey, look. Come on. Daddy's having more hallucinations. Let's go right now. Let's go.
  • Megan: They're ghosts, Dad.
  • Jim: They're not ghosts. We're just having hallucinations from that dinner that we ate. It was that chicken. It didn't taste right.
  • [Emma apparates right in from of Jim from the top of the stairs, startling him again]
  • Emma: Hey! It's not the chicken!
  • Jim: All right! It's not the chicken! It's not the chicken. But we're still getting out of here.
  • Megan: But dad, we have to help them.
  • Jim: Hey, you can't help the dead, honey. They're beyond help. That's the nature of being dead.
  • Ezra: The man's talking sense. Everyone should just keep their noses in their own business.
  • Megan: But dad, we have to help them break the curse.
  • Jim: Why is everybody talking about a curse? Wait a minute, have you been talking to that crazy green gypsy in the giant paperweight?
  • Emma: [to Ezra] Gypsy! He found the gypsy! We've gotta go back to see her.
  • [Jim panics]
  • Jim: No back! I'm not going back!
  • Megan: But, Dad!
  • Jim: Hey, they had me floating all around the room!
  • Megan: Dad!
  • Jim: [pantomimes what he just went through as he's saying it] Hey, l was strapped to a chair, floating around the room with a marching band chasing me! I'm not going back anywhere! Forget it, Casper!

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