Sarah Silverman credited as playing...
Patty Di Marco
- Patty Di Marco: You know, Dewey, it's one thing to throw your life away! But then to put Ned's career in jeopardy is so selfish!
- Dewey Finn: Hey! You're the one who told me to be like Ned and get a job!
- Patty Di Marco: Yeah, yeah, I told you to be like Ned, Dewey! I didn't tell you to be Ned! And you're not gonna even apologize?
- Dewey Finn: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING THE COPS! It's not like I murdered anybody! I just wanted a play a great show! I was this close!
- Ned Schneebly: [shouting] SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Would you both just cut it out for one second?
- [Patty mutters something under her breath, then leaves]
- Patty Di Marco: Unbelievable. After everything he's done to you? That is so typical, Ned! When are you going to stop being a pushover? When are you finally going to start sticking up for yourself?
- [Ned slams the door directly in Patty's face]
- Dewey Finn: Come on, man! One show, $20,000 prize, we split it 60-40, grab your bass and come back to the garage, brother! I mean, don't you miss rocking out?
- Patty Di Marco: Dewey, if you think anyone in the right mind is gonna wanna be in a band with you, you're more delusional than I thought.
- Ned Schneebly: Dewey, you know, maybe it's time to give up those dreams. I did, and things are going really great for me.
- Dewey Finn: [to Ned] She's got you brainwashed, man.
- Patty Di Marco: [to Dewey] Can you see that I'm working?
- Dewey Finn: That's terrific. Buy how are you, babe? This is my apartment, babe.
- Patty Di Marco: Uh... Not if you don't pay your rent, it's not. Get a job!
- Dewey Finn: I got a job, okay? I'm gonna have your rent by the end of the week. Go tell the mayor.
- Dewey Finn: [Patty opens the curtains. Dewey wakes up] What? What is it?
- Ned Schneebly: Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and, uh, I would like you to share the rent now, please.
- Dewey Finn: Oh, man! You know I don't have it! You wake me up for that? Come on, man!
- Ned Schneebly: Sorry.
- [Patty glares at Ned fiercely; more sternly]
- Ned Schneebly: Dewey, I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is!
- Patty Di Marco: Yeah, try 2200 dollars!
- Dewey Finn: Okay, you guys, the band is about to hit it big time. We're gonna win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I will throw you like a dog with a bone. Good night!
- Patty Di Marco: Oh, GIVE IT UP! YOUR BAND HAS NEVER MADE TWO CENTS!
- Ned Schneebly: Patty, come on! I'm on this!
- Patty Di Marco: Oh, you're on this? You're on this? He's walking all over you!
- Dewey Finn: Mommy, could we please talk about this later?
- Patty Di Marco: Uh, no, we can't talk about it later, because Ned and I have to go to work. We have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I'm an assistant to the mayor of this city, "hello"!
- Dewey Finn: What? Can you get her out of here, please? Why? Why her?
- Patty Di Marco: And Ned has the most important job there is.
- Dewey Finn: Temping?
- Ned Schneebly: [aggravated] Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp!
- Dewey Finn: [sarcastically] He's a babysitter!
- Ned Schneebly: Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? I'd like to see you try. You would've last one day!
- Dewey Finn: Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music! Rocking ain't no walk in the park, lady!
- Patty Di Marco: All right, this is useless, all right? You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week, he's out of here!
- Ned Schneebly: Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, I mean, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
- Dewey Finn: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?
- Patty Di Marco: Oh, my God, he's an idiot!
- Dewey Finn: Dude, I've been mooching off here for years, and it's never been a problem until she showed up. Just dump her, man!
- Ned Schneebly: Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some money, she's gonna dump me. She's fed up.
- Dewey Finn: Oh, really? Because that would be a good thing! She's a nightmare!
- Ned Schneebly: Come on! I may never have another girlfriend! Just come on! Come up with some money, please! Please!
- Dewey Finn: Okay, for you. Not for her, man, for you.
- Ned Schneebly: [calmly] Thank you.