Release CalendarTop 250 MoviesMost Popular MoviesBrowse Movies by GenreTop Box OfficeShowtimes & TicketsMovie NewsIndia Movie Spotlight
    What's on TV & StreamingTop 250 TV ShowsMost Popular TV ShowsBrowse TV Shows by GenreTV News
    What to WatchLatest TrailersIMDb OriginalsIMDb PicksIMDb SpotlightFamily Entertainment GuideIMDb Podcasts
    OscarsCannes Film FestivalStar WarsAsian Pacific American Heritage MonthSummer Watch GuideSTARmeter AwardsAwards CentralFestival CentralAll Events
    Born TodayMost Popular CelebsCelebrity News
    Help CenterContributor ZonePolls
For Industry Professionals
  • Language
  • Fully supported
  • English (United States)
    Partially supported
  • Français (Canada)
  • Français (France)
  • Deutsch (Deutschland)
  • हिंदी (भारत)
  • Italiano (Italia)
  • Português (Brasil)
  • Español (España)
  • Español (México)
Watchlist
Sign In
  • Fully supported
  • English (United States)
    Partially supported
  • Français (Canada)
  • Français (France)
  • Deutsch (Deutschland)
  • हिंदी (भारत)
  • Italiano (Italia)
  • Português (Brasil)
  • Español (España)
  • Español (México)
Use app
Back
  • Cast & crew
  • User reviews
  • Trivia
  • FAQ
IMDbPro
Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, and Alison Lohman in Matchstick Men (2003)

Nicolas Cage: Roy Waller

Matchstick Men

Nicolas Cage credited as playing...

Roy Waller

Photos38

View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
View Poster
+ 25
View Poster

Quotes38

  • Roy: Excuse me, hi! -
  • Pharmacist #2: I'll be right with your Sir.
  • Roy: [runs to other counter] Hi, I need a refill of this. No I don't have a prescription!
  • Pharmacist #1: Sir, please wait your turn.
  • Roy: I know, I know. B-but this; is an emergency.
  • Man in Line: Hey buddy, ever heard a line?
  • Roy: Hey have you ever been dragged to the sidewalk and beaten till you PISSED... BLOOD!
  • Roy: Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, "I'm a grown man. I should know what goes on my head." And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life.
  • Roy: I'm not a criminal. I'm a con man.
  • Dr. Klein: The difference being?
  • Roy: They give me their money.
  • Dr. Klein: That's a nice rationalization, Roy.
  • Angela: Nice to meet you, Dad.
  • Roy: Nice to meet you, Dad.
  • [realises what he's said and shakes his head]
  • Roy: Rule Number 1: Don't work where you live.
  • Angela: [writing] Don't... shit... where...
  • Roy: [grabbing her notepad] Rule Number 2: Don't write anything down!
  • Angela: Bullshit!
  • Roy: No bullshit. And watch your mouth at the table.
  • Angela: [Angela laughs] You're a con man?
  • Roy: Con artist. Flim flam man, matchstick man, loser. Whatever. Take your pick.
  • Angela: And that guy Frank?
  • Roy: He's my partner. My protege...
  • Angela: Teach me something...
  • Roy: You're funny.
  • Angela: Teach me something! A con.
  • Roy: I'm not teaching you anything...
  • Angela: Why not?
  • Roy: Because you're far too bright and innocent and beautiful and I'm not going to screw that up like everything else!
  • Angela: You really think that?
  • [pause]
  • Angela: That I'm beautiful?
  • Roy: No.
  • Angela: Well, then why won't you? Because crime doesn't pay?
  • Roy: No, it does. It does! Just not very well.
  • Angela: Well, you seem to be doing alright by it!
  • Roy: I'm not. Believe me. It's no fun doing what I do. A lot of times it's stealing from people who don't deserve it. Old people. Fat people. Lonely.
  • [pause]
  • Roy: A lot of times I feel sick about it.
  • Angela: Well, then why do you do it?
  • Roy: uhhh... uhhh... That was WRONG what you did! And... and... you're a NOSY PARKER! And that's no way for a young lady to behave! And... SHAME ON YOU!
  • Angela: She said you were a bad guy. You don't seem like a bad guy.
  • Roy: That's what makes me good at it.
  • Roy: For some people, money is... money is a foreign film without subtitles.
  • Angela: You don't have a TV? SERIOUSLY you don't have a TV?
  • Roy: Well there's a couch, if you want to sit. Or over there if you prefer. Or the couch.
  • [repeated line]
  • Roy: Pygmies!
  • [asking how badly his life is affected by the agoraphobia]
  • Dr. Klein: And your personal relationships?
  • Roy: [laughing] What personal relationships?
  • Dr. Klein: When was the last time you were in one?
  • [pause]
  • Dr. Klein: You know... a relationship?
  • Roy: With a woman? A long time ago.
  • Dr. Klein: Five years? Ten years?
  • [pause]
  • Roy: Keep going, man...
  • Roy: You lookin' for something, sucker?
  • Frank Mercer: Yeah. My partner. You seen him? He's been missing most of the week. Tall, good-looking guy.
  • Frank Mercer: Man, you are bad! Did you take your pills?
  • Roy: Let his greed meet his imagination.
  • Dr. Klein: Let me ask you something. What would you do if you had to change careers?
  • Roy: You mean if I wasn't an antiques broker?
  • Dr. Klein: If you weren't a criminal.
  • Roy: Huh?
  • [twitches]
  • Angela: New York Super Fudge Chunk. That's my favourite flavour.
  • Roy: New York...?
  • Angela: Super Fudge Chunk.
  • Roy: Oh chocolate! Right.
  • Roy: I gotta go. I've got a big business meeting.
  • Angela: This late?
  • Roy: Antiques. They wait for no man.
  • Roy: You good to go?
  • Frank Mercer: Does the Pope pooh in the woods?
  • Roy: Fourteen! You're fourteen! When'd you have TIME to get arrested?
  • Roy: I'm not ver good at being a father, all right? I barely get by just being me.

More from this title

More to explore

Recently viewed

Please enable browser cookies to use this feature. Learn more.
Get the IMDb app
Sign in for more accessSign in for more access
Follow IMDb on social
Get the IMDb app
For Android and iOS
Get the IMDb app
  • Help
  • Site Index
  • IMDbPro
  • Box Office Mojo
  • License IMDb Data
  • Press Room
  • Advertising
  • Jobs
  • Conditions of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Your Ads Privacy Choices
IMDb, an Amazon company

© 1990-2025 by IMDb.com, Inc.