Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow

I'm someone who likes horror movies because they're funny, not scary.

This movie was made for me.

There's 3 stories with a story that connects them, like Creepshow, but this movie was a lot more fun.

The part at the car lot which links everything together was hilarious. There's this character named Wesley who looks like a crazy version of Kurt Russel in Used Cars. He wears make-up, a terrible plaid suit and chomps on mini cigars (and the scenery).

The first story is about a guy who visits a cabin in the woods. It turns out he's heading for group therapy. People start getting killed, and the gore effects are actually pretty good - including a cringing baseball bat to the forehead. Brutal.

The second "Scary Tale" was funny. This guy has a box of Acme Brand chocolate bars which turns some gang members called the zombies into zombies. It's really, really silly and fast paced.

The final tale has awesome acting. It reminded me of the Twilight Zone. This guy with stolen money almost has a car accident and ends up at this hotel he can't leave. Joe Estevez is fantastic (I bought a copy which was pre-autographed by him and the director from a cult movie store in New Jersey).

Loved this movie! I haven't listened to the commentary, but I can't wait.

I must admit, this was one of the first "underground movies" I've ever seen, and to be honest, it looks a lot better than the stuff that's on TV and in chain movie stores.

At least someone's still making fun horror movies. Aside from Shaun of the Dead, everything that's straight to video, or in theaters, has no personality. This movie's subtle about being over the top (which is really hard to do). A must find! IT makes fun of all sorts of clichés - although, it took my neighbor 3 viewings to figure out it wasn't serious. He loves it now too.

I borrowed this from a friend who has a small role in the film. He said it is going to be released later this year.

I'm not a very big horror fan, and haven't really watched many films that are considered independent.

That in mind, I did enjoy this. Not as much as the original Scary Tales (I borrowed both movies), because this one is so fast paced. The first one took it's time going from one story to the other. This one is literally one joke after the other. Plus, it's a little bloodier than I usually like to watch (the original only had a few bloody scenes).

If you decide to get this, the third story is the best one. Joe Estevez is really good in that one.

The best thing about these movies is that they aren't as scary as the title implies. Although, if campy or over-the-top horror movies aren't your thing, I would avoid.

7.5 out of ten.

On the run from the law, the deranged story-teller working at a used-car lot finds his talents put to use telling a buyer about the various models he's interested in.

The Good Stor(ies): Dennis Frye vs. The Zombies-Working in a convenience store, a lowly worker tries to make a relationship work with his new girlfriend only to have his high-school bully continually interrupt his attempts. When he accidentally unleashes a zombie plague through the store, he tries to protect her anyway he can. This was a rather enjoyable and highly goofy entry. There's a lot of fun to be had with their slightly overlong courtship which has some silly moments, and the idea of the zombie apocalypse being carried out only through the means of a gas station is quite appropriately played for laughs more than anything. It plays the loosest connection to the concept of the anthology which makes it quite an odd placement here but overall manages to be one of the more entertaining.

The Bad Stor(ies): Charlie's Demons-Traveling to his therapists' office, a troubled man joins a group session in a run-down cabin ou in the woods before finally getting aggravated about the whole affair. As a strange series of events begins plaguing the group, they soon realize that someone or something might be hunting them down and must try to get away alive. This one had a ton of potential and really could've been a fun indie slasher effort but falls slightly short of the mark. The whole setup of the patients out in the isolated cabin and being picked off with the creepy groundskeeper and the doctor in charge of the whole session which has a lot to like with the way it starts knocking everyone off in the later half. The problem is the simplistic setup that doesn't make any sense and the lengthy wrap-up that really takes a lot of the suspense out of the story. This one really could've been a lot more fun than it is.

7:23-Stuck in the middle of the road, a lone traveler braving the elements finds himself forced into staying the night at a seemingly deserted hotel run by a creepy manager. Waking up in the morning to find his car missing and no means of transportation out, he slowly comes to realize what's really staying at the hotel with him. Frankly, this one really doesn't have much going for it. There's so little happening here with the focus either on him driving along the desert or wandering the halls of the hotel that this one feels insanely dull by comparison with an overlong running time building up a boring atmosphere. There's no real suspense about the situation and it doesn't generate any kind of action at all even with a few creepy images thrown in to pass this off as a horror entry. Beyond that, this one doesn't really work and has an even more tenuous grip on the concept of the anthology.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Violence, Brief Nudity and a mild sex scene.

a friend of mine is a critic, and received an advance screener of this. we decided to watch together.

the film centers around an over-the-top character named mistour long fellow, who, tells stories. this is a ridiculous set-up for the stories themselves, but at least it was breezy and refreshing.

the first story, albeit short, is to the point - with mediocre acting but very well-done gore effects.

the second story is about a fellow who works in a convenience store that comes across a mystical box of chocolate bars. they turn the antagonists into zombies - and, hence, there is a final confrontation that is both breezy and entertaining.

the last story has martin sheen's dopleganger brother as the manager of a hotel. his performance is both undeniably creepy and silly. there is no gore to speak of in this story, but it has great acting throughout and nice usage of locations, creating some good atmosphere.

all in all, a nice little film that seems to have fallen under the radar. definitely worth a look for anthology fans.

it also features the man who played the "maniac cop" and the lady who was the killer in "sleepaway camp".

I enjoyed the first Scary Tales, even though it had some flaws (most noticeably the pacing of the movie and the acting).

However, I was very pleasantly surprised with Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow. The sequel is strides above the first, and it also shows Hoffman's growth as both a writer and director.

One thing of notice is the movie gets very dark at times (in tone), but is reeled back in to keep it light. I'm hoping to one day see a movie where Hoffman lets it go and puts out a darker themed movie.

Sometimes you see movies put out from lower-budgeted directors and the continuing movies show no learning curve, but that is not the case here.

Can't wait for the next movie.