- Young Warden: I'm tired of this, Grandpa...
- Trout Walker: [shouts] Well, that's too damn bad! You keep digging!
- Young Warden: Well, excuse me.
- The Warden Walker: Stanley, won't you just open it? Just let me see what's inside it, please!
- Stanley: Excuse me?
- Mr. Sir: What're we gonna do?
- The Warden Walker: You'll do as I say.
- [puts her hat on and leaves]
- Mr. Pendanski: What did she say?
- Mr. Sir: Not much.
- Mr. Pendanski: What do we do?
- Mr. Sir: You'll do as I say.
- [puts his hat on and leaves]
- Mr. Pendanski: But you didn't say anything either.
- Mr. Pendanski: D-I-G. What does that spell?
- Zero: [takes shovel and whacks Mr. Pendanski across the face with it] DIG.
- Mr. Sir: I got a story for your Girl Scouts. Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end.
- [snickers scornfully]
- Madame Zeroni: If you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity!
- Madame Zeroni: If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, / The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. / The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, / And cries to the moon, / If only if only.
- Trout Walker: [Trout appears, pointing a rifle at Kate] You got five seconds to tell me where you buried the lout!
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: I've been waitin' for you, Trout...
- [she draws her pistol and aims. Trout hesitates, but then she lowers it]
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: I ain't gonna kill you.
- [she throws the gun down, and Trout's wife picks it up]
- Trout Walker: Where's the loot?
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: There ain't no loot.
- Trout Walker: Don't give me that! You robbed every bank from Hell to Houston!
- Linda Walker: We saw you heading back with a shovel, Miss Katherine!
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: Linda Miller? Is that you?
- Linda Walker: I've been Linda Walker for the past thirteen years!
- Trout Walker: One!
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: Aw, Linda, you were such a good student... you must have married him for his money.
- Trout Walker: Two!
- Linda Walker: Well, it's all gone now! It dried up with the lake. Hasn't rained here since the day they killed Sam! Now you better tell him what he wants, he's a desperate man!
- Trout Walker: Three!
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: Go on, kill me.
- Trout Walker: [smiles crookedly] I ain't gonna kill you. But by the time I'm finished with you, you gonna wish you was dead.
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: [chuckles] I've been wishing I was dead for a long time.
- Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?
- Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that's who it is.
- Mr. Pendanski: No, you.
- Magnet: [about the dog he stole] I would have made it out, too... if my pocket didn't start barkin'.
- The Warden Walker: This is my special nail polish. I make it myself. You Want to know my secret ingredient? Rattlesnake venom. I just love what it does to the coloring. It's perfectly harmless... when it's dry.
- Zig-Zag: [singing] You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.
- Magnet: Maybe he found Zero. Maybe they're still alive.
- X-Ray: Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive.
- Squid: Maybe my mom'll stop drinkin' and my dad'll come back.
- Twitch: Man when Caveman stole that truck... oh...
- Zig-Zag: That was awesome.
- Armpit: Yeah, Caveman did have style.
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: The lake goes around for miles. You, and your children, and your children's children, will dig for a hundred years, and you will never find it.
- [she picks up a yellow lizard]
- Kissin' Kate Barlow: Start digging, Trout.
- [She puts the lizard to her arm. It bites her, and she dies, laughing softly]
- Mr. Sir: You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.
- Mr. Pendanski: Good morning, Theodore!
- Armpit: Man, it's Armpit! I don't know no fool named Theodore.
- Mr. Pendanski: Well, I don't know no fool named Armpit.
- [Hands him water]
- Mr. Pendanski: Here's your water, who-ever-you-are.
- The Warden Walker: [while all the boys are digging out a deep trench, Armpit tries to dupe the Warden into thinking that he has found something which is obviously nothing more than a recently broken TV nob] Are you trying to be funny, or do you just think I'm stupid?
- Armpit: No, ma'am. I wasn't trying to be funny.
- The Warden Walker: Excuse me?
- Mr. Sir: You know something, Armpit? Your little joke has just cost you a week of shower privileges.
- Stanley: Man how did she know my name?
- Zig-Zag: Oh, man, she's got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers.
- Stanley: They're not in the showers.
- Squid: Oh don't listen to him. I read his file. It said he suffers from, um, oh. acute paranoia.
- Magnet: So I guess that means she watches me everyday, huh.
- Armpit: Man, he said cameras and microphones, not microscopes.
- Twitch: I never mean to steal anything, but when I see a nice car, I just start twitching. You think I'm jumpy now, you should've seen me behind the wheel of that Mustang convertible. Whoo! Vroom!
- Madame Zeroni: You should go to America. That's where my son is. That's where your future is, not Myra Menke. Her head's as empty as a flowerpot!
- Zig-Zag: What color was it's blood?
- Stanley: I-I don't know. I couldn't tell.
- Zig-Zag: I wish I'd a seen it. Bam!
- Magnet: If Mr. Sir didn't shoot it, Stanley, you'd be in the hole.
- Zig-Zag: Don't you know each one's got exactly 11 spots?
- Squid: Yeah, man, but if you ever get close enough to count 'em, you're dead.
- Armpit: Look, it's the lizards we're workin' for, man. We build their houses for 'em. I mean, yesterday I saw 10 of 'em in one hole.
- Squid: We ain't diggin' for no lizards
- Armpit: What we diggin' for then man?
- X-Ray: Like Mr. Sir said, we diggin' to build some character.
- Mr. Sir: There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
- Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.
- Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills!
- Mr. Pendanski: They all have their little nicknames, however I prefer to use the names their parents gave them,the names society will recognize them by.
- Judge: I could send you to jail and not lose one bit of sleep over it. But I don't know what good that would do. There is currently a vacancy at Camp Green Lake. They help troubled youth build character. The choice is yours: Camp Green Lake or jail.
- Stanley: Uh... well, um... I've never been to camp before.
- Judge: Eighteen months - Camp Green Lake, son.
- [bangs gavel]
- Stanley's Mother: I feel so sorry for the old lady who lived in the shoe, 'cause it must've smelled real bad.
- [first lines]
- Stanley: [after being hit by a falling pair of shoes] All my life, I seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. My grandpa, Stanley Yelnats Il, says it's all because of this 150-year-old curse. Now, I don't really believe in the family curse, but when things go wrong, it kind of helps if you can blame it on something. And for me, things went wrong a lot. Grandpa says our destiny is sealed. Could a pair of shoes falling from the sky really be part of my destiny?
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
