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Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, Tony Cox, and Brett Kelly in Bad Santa (2003)

Bernie Mac: Gin

Bad Santa

Bernie Mac credited as playing...

Gin

Photos9

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Quotes11

  • [Willie has just passed out]
  • Gin: Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.
  • Marcus: What do you mean, get him outta here?
  • Gin: Take him to the car.
  • Marcus: In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?
  • Gin: That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You're all the same.
  • Marcus: Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?
  • Gin: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!
  • Marcus: Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.
  • Gin: What'd you call me thigh-high?
  • Marcus: I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!
  • Gin: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
  • Marcus: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
  • Gin: You got some lip on you midget.
  • Marcus: Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!
  • Bob Chipeska: I just can't help it. There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.
  • Gin: Well sure. Santa fucking someone in the ass...
  • Gin: Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass.
  • Marcus: How much?
  • Gin: Half.
  • Willie: No fucking way...
  • Marcus: Just back off, Will, I got this. I got this! Okay, 30%. That's three of us. 30%, that's fair.
  • Gin: Half.
  • Marcus: I meant 33%.
  • Gin: I meant half.
  • Marcus: And 1/3.
  • Gin: Half.
  • Marcus: 35%.
  • Gin: Half.
  • Marcus: 40%.
  • Gin: Half.
  • Marcus: 42%.
  • Gin: [Mouthing] Half.
  • Marcus: Um... 45%.
  • Gin: [Pretends to think about it] Half.
  • Marcus: 48%?
  • Gin: [In British accent] Half.
  • Marcus: 49%!
  • Gin: Half.
  • Willie: Well, what's one point?
  • Gin: Sweet Jews for Jesus!
  • Gin: We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.
  • Marcus: No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...
  • Gin: This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!
  • [Exits]
  • Willie: Pricks fix?
  • Marcus: Ah, he's a fucking moron.
  • Willie: Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
  • Marcus: Fuck you.
  • Willie: Negotiating?
  • Marcus: You don't like it? Next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.
  • Willie: Yeah and I can get another midget too.
  • Marcus: Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?
  • Gin: Man is a sexual being.
  • Gin: You know what I see when I look at you? America's got a sad future ahead of it.
  • Bob Chipeska: [about Willie] Can you maybe find out something on this guy?
  • Gin: Fuck yeah.
  • Gin: [after seeing a kid has placed a game in his pants] What's this?
  • Shoplifter: I was going to pay for it.
  • Gin: Wrong answer.
  • Gin: Find everything you're looking for?
  • Shoplifter: Um, yeah, thank you.
  • [rummages through Xbox games]
  • Gin: Nothing I can help you with, huh?
  • Shoplifter: [nervously] no I'm just looking at the games because I have an Xbox.
  • Shoplifter: [Gin searches the boy's pants] what are you doing? Get your hands out of my pants, man!
  • Gin: You steal from this store, you're stealing from me.
  • Gin: [finds an Xbox game in boy's pants] what is this?
  • Shoplifter: [stuttering] I was gonna pay for it.
  • Gin: Wrong answer! You know when I look at you, you know what I think? I think America has a sad future ahead of it. And you're part of this sorry ass generation. What you wanna be when you grow up?
  • [throws Xbox game back on rack]
  • Shoplifter: [stuttering nervously] I don't know.
  • Gin: [grabs the boy's MP3 player] this is MP3?
  • Shoplifter: Yeah.
  • Gin: Take it off.
  • Shoplifter: [stuttering] but my grandmother gave it to me.
  • Gin: Take it off! I don't care who gave it to you.
  • Gin: [forces the MP3 player and headphones off the boy] just take it off. I don't care if I choke you to death.
  • Gin: Now I want you to get on out of here. Get!
  • Shoplifter: [asking for his MP3 player back] but can I have...?
  • Gin: Get! Happy Kwanza.
  • Gin: [Gin's cell phone rings] and pull your damn pants up! What's wrong with you kids these days?

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