Corpses Are Forever

Corpses Are Forever (2003) is a waste of time. The film makers tried to make a cool movie but thinking somethings cool when it's not sucks, and so did this film. Instead of wasting money on B-Movie actors who know the product sucks, they should have spent in on production and writing a decent script. This movie is why Asylum is a joke of a company. They think they're Troma and they act like their product is all that and a bag of chips. You think that a company with the name Asylum would make edgy and horrific films that'll shock and terrorize you. Instead they scare you from watching any of their d.v.d.s

When you're making a movie, don't try and bring up cooler movies just so you can get some cred amongst old school horror fans. It wont work. You'll seem like you're reaching for some thing (and anything). The concept of this movie was interesting. Anybody could have made it work. The problem lies with these people. They just don't know how to make a watchable movie. Throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if it sticks is no way either. I could have made a better movie movie with $10,000 and three digital cameras.

Perhaps there's a market for this crap. I don't know who would watch this tripe but there must be. Just remember, have a decent script, motivated actors, a good director and lots of lighting. If you follows these rules you can make something that's watchable. If you try to make a movie that'll entertain yourself, you'll end up on the short end of the stick every time.

Not recommended. This movie is so bad it'll crack the lens within your d.v.d. player.

I would love to give a more detailed comment on the flick but it sucked so bad, I couldn't focus on it. Bad, acting, crappy fx, poorly shot, I've seen 8- year olds with better zombie makeup on Halloween. All I can really say is that it tries to pass off as an action/horror, but its not scary, or exciting..its just boring...90% talk to say the least and the action is so weak its not even worth watching to laugh at about how crappy it is...I would only recommend this movie as a sleep aid to people with insomnia...much respect to Felissa Rose though (not for playing in this garbage but sleepaway camp) though...that and I like Romereo is about the only reason I watched it but this movie is a disgrace, and I'm not saying that based on its budget... It just sucked...hardily.

Here's your "zombie" secret-agent "thriller" in a nutshell: There are twelve zombies that never come close to hurting a soul, no plot, bad acting and a script so bad it poses the question: If 1,000 monkeys with 1,000 typewriters were put into a room for 1,000 years, would they be able to write something better? No and yes. No, they wouldn't write anything, but Yes, the flinging of monkey dung would be better than this dog of a film. If you are an indy filmmaker, why would you work so hard and gather some B- and C-list celebs into a movie only to make a confused, worthless half-ass piece of crap? Yes, I will crap on someone's dream because I love movies. I love movies so much that it hurts me when someone makes the effort to produce something so thoroughly weak.

And here's a question: If you're a CIA agent (that looks like a nineteen year-old kid with drawn-on tattoos) in the midst of a zombie invasion, why are you driving around in a convertible Caddy? Next time, the filmmakers should have ONE story and not only a real actor, but a REAL DIRECTOR. Find someone who knows how to write, and another guy who can operate an editing device. And a non-deaf person to be your sound guy...

I've got to go set this DVD on fire.

There are only two things that save Corpses are Forever from being worse than it is. One is the reasonably well-shot and creepy prologue, the other is Richard Lynch, who sinks his teeth into his role and seems to be enjoying himself thoroughly. Which is more than can be said for the rest of the cast who either look embarrassed, are wasted or have no acting talent. Debbie Rochon is not bad but she is pretty wasted actually in that she is given next to nothing to work with. Linnea Quigley does not convince as a zombie and looks like she doesn't want to be there, and Brinkie Stevens is another actress who has very little to do. The worst of the lot though is definitely Jose Prendes in a performance so charisma-less and forced, often he makes the zombies seem more animated. And they were certainly nothing to write home about, in fact they were not scary in the slightest, all they did was lumber around as if stoned. They were also very poorly made-up- fancy-dress party zombie make-up has been much more convincing- and they even managed to feel irrelevant to the story. Prendes also writes and directs and in all honesty of all the writing/starring in/directing-by-one-person jobs from any movie Prendes for Corpses are Forever has to be down there as one of the all-time worst. The direction is completely amateurish, with all-over-the-place editing and his support and direction for the actors seemed non-existent too, you can tell by how the minor roles/extras were just wandering around looking as though they didn't have a clue what to do. His script-writing is stilted, doesn't develop the characters at all and adds ones that are completely extraneous, has a very improvised feel and has no structure and humour and banter that verge on juvenile. The awkward line-delivery doesn't help nor does the sound, sometimes you can't even hear what was being said. The storytelling is so thin on the ground that there is often very little of it at all, it is filled with plodding exposition that seemed to be solely there to pad out the running time, is very tediously paced(not in a while have I been this bored by a movie)and is often incoherent(perhaps due to that there was a lot of stringing-of-rip-offs going on). There is no fun, tension or thrills, you can go as far to say no atmosphere, and then there are action sequences that are haphazardly shot and to say that they are choreographed unimaginatively is being too kind. And the ending is too ridiculous that it is not worth commenting on, plus the most inventive Corpses are Forever ever gets are the title and taglines that are very cheesy themselves. In conclusion, not the worst The Asylum has done or the worst movie ever but it is a terrible and interminably dull one on all but one or two levels. 2/10, though it was a very tough decision as to whether to give it a 1 or a 2. Bethany Cox

All the positive reviews here on imdb this film has got (which is the only place you will find any) are very suspicious, as they all sound like canned PR material from the distributor. "Destined to become a cult classic" and "good old fashioned popcorn matinee", jeesh!! Of course I should expect as much from Asylum entertainment - purveyors of schlock even Charles Band wouldn't sit through.

As soon as I saw that the films lead was also the films writer, producer, and director, I knew I was in for trouble. First of all the kid can't act, neither can anyone else in the film, save for Richard Lynch who was barely watchable himself. Bad sound, bad effects and the story just plain sucked, a mishmash of rip-offs from the matrix, total recall, and James bond. And in a film that was about 90 min, there was only about 10 min of Zombie action.

The DVD box claims "its night, dawn, and day of the dead at once" Now that implies allot of living dead action, but nope. None to be found, just the films director running around with bad martial arts, and a performance that made me wince at every word. Don't rent, buy or even consider this film if you are a living dead head. You can tell how bad it is by reading all the fake reviews here that the filmmaker and his buddies probably put up themselves.