- Det. Winslow: You looked good holding that baby, maybe you should think about popping one out.
- Jordan: Yeah, or maybe I should pop my foot up your ass.
- Elaine: [talking about Jordan] Garret, I'm serious. She is impossible to work with.
- Macy: Here's a tip. It's easier if you don't listen when she talks.
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: So if I killed my husband, where would I stash the body?
- Jordan: If you killed your husband you'd have to start in the closet.
- Dr. Trey Sanders: How do you know all this, Nigel?
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: Insomnia and the History Channel. It's a lethal combination.
- Woody: I'd appreciate if you handle this with a little bit of sensitivity. I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm up for a promotion this year. So if word got out...
- Nigel: Woody, Woody, Woody... I promise that I will keep an open mind, okay? And anyway sensitivity is my middle name.
- [opens the door]
- Nigel: [shouts] Sweet Mary in the manger!
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: I paid seven homeless people to go dumpster diving for me.
- Macy: Who's money did you use?
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: Yours.
- [Jordan is banging computer keys in frustration]
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: Please evacuate the keyboard area.
- Jordan: [to Garret] It's like you always tell me. The dead bodies are easy. It's the alive ones that get more complicated.
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: How big would you like it?
- [Maguire gives him a look]
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: I meant the picture.
- Arlene Lebowski: You're not getting any younger.
- Lily: Oh, so I should be you? Jump anything with a pulse and a penis?
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: Jordan, you should know that last night will never happen again.
- Jordan: Oh God, what are we talking about here?
- Dr. Nigel Townsend: My new image in the workplace. No more Nigel-the-computer-jockey. Okay, I was swept up in the moment, but now it's truly done.
- Dr. Peter Winslow: So... We're looking for a missing girl and a guy who doesn't exist. Hmmm... That's challenging.
- Lily: Tell me about it!
- Macy: I really don't like you.
- DA Rene Walcott: Right back at you.
- Macy: I mean not at all.
- DA Rene Walcott: I get it. Just kiss me.
- [looking for the victim's husband]
- Landlord: Maybe he's at work.
- Woody: His wife never came home last night. Would you go to work the next morning?
- Landlord: Yeah, but you haven't met my husband.
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