Jerry O'Connell credited as playing...
- Woody: Stay in the car.
- Jordan: What exactly in our past makes you think I'll do that?
- Woody: What do we got?
- Garrett: Well, since they called for a medical examiner and homicide detective, my guess is a body.
- Woody: Is sarcasm a prerequisite for being an ME?
- Garrett: It helps.
- Woody: Any way to tell her age from the autopsy?
- Bug: Sure, I'll just cut her open and count the rings.
- Woody: You could have simply said no.
- Woody: [Woody begins to undress and change his clothes]
- Bug: You obviously didn't make it to the sexual harassment seminar.
- Woody: Sure I did. That's why I didn't ask if you wanted to wrestle.
- Woody: Looks like man vs. city bus. You can guess the outcome.
- Woody: I'd appreciate if you handle this with a little bit of sensitivity. I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm up for a promotion this year. So if word got out...
- Nigel: Woody, Woody, Woody... I promise that I will keep an open mind, okay? And anyway sensitivity is my middle name.
- [opens the door]
- Nigel: [shouts] Sweet Mary in the manger!
- Woody: The last four times Burnham met him was at some Goth club named Asmanties.
- Garrett: Goth club huh? Let Nigel do all the talking.
- Woody: [about a suspected serial killer she wants to inspect for evidence] Jordan, he's a psychopath!
- Jordan: [sarcastically] And I'm not?
- Woody: The nun had a baby? How could that be?
- Jordan: She's a woman first, nun second.
- Bug: Remember, heavy object, odd design.
- Woody: Thanks. That really narrows things down.
- Bug: [mutters] Just trying to help.
- Woody: I have been meaning to ask you why do they call you Bug?
- Bug: Because I like insects. Why do they call you Woody?
- Woody: Why are you here again?
- [a woman is running a brothel under the disguise of a modeling agency]
- Madam: You know, we're starting a men's division, Detective Hoyt. In case you're ever interested in making some extra cash...
- Woody: I'll keep that in mind.
- Bug: What about me?
- Bug: [Bug is having technical difficulties]
- Woody: You know, I could always go get Nigel.
- Bug: If you love Nigel so much, why don't you marry him?
- Woody: We can actually do that now in Vermont.
- Jordan: Look... You guys get along. I need you to talk to him.
- Woody: He pulled a gun on me!
- Jordan: That's bonding for him. He feels comfortable with you.
- Woody: He said he was going to shoot me!
- Jordan: You see... You guys are closer than I thought.
- [looking for the victim's husband]
- Landlord: Maybe he's at work.
- Woody: His wife never came home last night. Would you go to work the next morning?
- Landlord: Yeah, but you haven't met my husband.
- Woody: I have moral issues shooting live animals. I don't care if it is wabbit hunting season.
- Cal Hoyt: But you shoot people.
- Woody: I shoot bad people.
- Cal Hoyt: Well, there's bad wabbit.
- Susan: [to Det. Cruz] What, are you playing bad cop?
- Woody: No, he's not playing. He just is... bad.
- Woody: [checking a victim's phone records] There are over 50 calls in the last three months to a Robert Whiting.
- Bug: Why does that name sound familiar?
- Woody: You probably voted for him.
- Woody: Let's not jump to any hasty conclusions here. If I was looking for the wack-a-doo conspiracy version I would have called Jordan in.
- Nigel: I am some how both flattered and insulted by that.
