S.W.A.T. (2003)

LL Cool J: Deacon 'Deke' Kaye

Photos 

Quotes 

• Deke : We need to sell that shit on eBay.

  Street : I only have one.

  Deke : We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market. Break 'em down like a shotgun - The Polish Penetrator!

• Neighbor in Alley : Y'all ain't got nothing better to do than to be haulin' off black people off to jail? Just perpetuatin' a cycle you know!

  Deke : [putting the criminal in the police car]  Let's see how liberal you are when he breaks into your place!

  Neighbor in Alley : MMmm hm!

  Deke : Mmm hm my ass!

• Hondo : The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.

  Deke : So what if he's Polish?

  Hondo : No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.

• Hondo : [Deke shoots a card]  10 of Spades. Spade flush.

  Street : Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?

  Hondo : Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!

  Deke : Beats four Aces in Compton any day!

• Deke : Tell daddy how you want it.

• [the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate] 

  Deke : Ain't this a bitch?

  Street : A cold hard one.

• [after hearing Street over radio yell officer down] 

  Hondo : Flip a bitch!

  Deke : Flippin' a bitch!

• Deke : [Deleted Scene: Locker Room]  So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.

  Boxer : They always are at first.

  Deke : [Imitates his wife]  "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?

  McCabe : Laughs?

  Boxer : Hangs up?

  Deke : She laughs her ass off, AND hangs up.

  McCabe : [as Boxer and TJ laugh]  Bitch. Alright guys, take care.

• Hondo : You know what? I think he might be Polish.

  Deke : Unbelievable.