Paul Soter credited as playing...
Foster
- [Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]
- Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
- Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
- Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
- Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
- [Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]
- Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
- Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.
- [the man hands him his license]
- Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)
- [Mac ticks off two fingers]
- Larry Johnson: Sorry.
- [the man laughs a little]
- Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
- Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
- Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
- [pause]
- Foster: All right meow, (3) where were we?
- Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
- Foster: Am I saying meow?
- [Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]
- Larry Johnson: I thought...
- Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?
- [man laughs]
- Foster: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
- Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
- Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
- [Mac is gut-busting laughing]
- Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
- [feigned anger]
- Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
- Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)
- Larry Johnson: [the man stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
- Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.
- [rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]
- Foster: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
- Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)
- Foster: Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
- [Ursula meets Foster at a restaurant. Ursula is dressed as a biker, Foster is dressed as a cyclist]
- Foster: Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.
- Ursula: [talking into voice filter] Freeze motherfucker.
- Foster: Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.
- Ursula: Drop your coat and grab your toes.
- Foster: What?
- Ursula: I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.
- Foster: Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.
- Ursula: Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.
- [Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"]
- Ursula: [still talking into the voice filter] You don't have these at your station?
- Foster: [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it] I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?
- Ursula: I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.
- Foster: [explaining his low number of citations issued] I can't make them speed.
- Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.
- Captain O'Hagan: What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?
- Foster: You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afgahni knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh... no.
- Rabbit: It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation!
- Captain O'Hagan: The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?
- Thorny: How the hell should I know?
- Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.
- [to Foster]
- Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.
- Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.
- Ursula: Nice try.