Marisa Coughlan credited as playing...
Ursula
- Ursula: [talking into voice filter] Freeze motherfucker.
- Foster: Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.
- Ursula: Drop your coat and grab your toes.
- Foster: What?
- Ursula: I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.
- Foster: Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.
- Ursula: Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.
- [Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"]
- Ursula: [still talking into the voice filter] You don't have these at your station?
- Foster: [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it] I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?
- Ursula: I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.
- Officer Smy: Ursula, what the fuck? There's no TP in the bathroom!
- Ursula: What about the piece stuck to your shoe?
- Officer Smy: What ABOUT the piece stuck to my shoe?
- [Looks down]
- Officer Smy: SHIT!
- Ursula: [Stifles a laugh]
- Officer Smy: You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort.
- Ursula: Oh why... did you want me to wipe your ass?
- Officer Smy: [Flustered] That's not what I meant!
- [With a pompous gesture]
- Officer Smy: Well around MY house, my wife knows to refill the TP.
- Ursula: I'm not your wife, Smy.
- Officer Smy: No, and if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two.
- Ursula: Oooooooh.
- Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.
- [to Foster]
- Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.
- Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.
- Ursula: Nice try.