Big Trouble (2002)
Ben Foster: Matt Arnold
Photos
Quotes
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Jenny Herk : You, don't look at my ass when I walk away.
Andrew : I can't make that promise.
[leaves]
Andrew : Whoa. "You can squirt me tonight down at Bayside." You're gonna remember that line when you're an old dude, dude.
Matt Arnold : Are you looking at her ass?
Andrew : Yeah.
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Eliot Arnold : Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game.
[Grabs a squirt gun away from Matt]
Eliot Arnold : This is a stupid game.
Matt Arnold : Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun.
Eliot Arnold : You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime?
Matt Arnold : Andrew?
Jenny Herk : He ran the other way.
Eliot Arnold : Did anybody call the police?
Anna Herk : [off-screen] I'm making some coffee, you want some?
Eliot Arnold : I'll call the police.
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Matt Arnold : I hope they don't have a dog.
Eliot Arnold : [narrating] As it turns out, the Herks did have a dog. His name was Roger and he was the random result of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex.
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Geo Salesman : Sweet little vehicle. Just get divorced? Ah, it doesn't matter. Forty-two miles to the gallon, AM/FM radio. I'll even throw in the undercoating. Anything else you'd like to know?
Matt Arnold : Yeah. How many clowns can it hold?
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Matt Arnold : Uh, Jenny's mom opened the door, and I came running up to squirt her. And then, uh, Mrs. Herk jumped me... or jumped *on* me. And, uh, and then I went down on Jenny... or I f-fell on Jenny.
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[Matt and Andrew are getting prepared for a big water gun war at their friend, Jenny, in her home]
Andrew : So, what's the plan? Through the front?
Matt Arnold : [sarcastically] Yeah. "It's Matt Arnold. I'm here to kill your daughter, Jenny."
[truthfully]
Matt Arnold : No, we gotta go over the wall, dickweed. I just hope she doesn't see this stupid turdmobile.
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Matt Arnold : How about I shoot you in the hand?
Jenny Herk : My first hand job.
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Matt Arnold : Dad, the goat kicked your Geo's ass.
Eliot Arnold : The car is a piece of shit, OK?
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Arthur Herk : My TV... you shot my TV! You little son of a bitch, you're going to pay for that, *and* you're going to jail!
Matt Arnold : [mumbling] It's a squirt gun, man.
Arthur Herk : What?
Matt Arnold : It's a squirt gun.
Jenny Herk : Good thing you ran away, Arthur, you might have gotten wet.