- John Barton: If I could be anything but what I am, I would be tomorrow. If I could be what my father wants me to be, then maybe I could stay for that, too. If I could be what you want me to be, I'd want to stay. But I am what I am, and all I want is freedom.
- Jacob Coote: Two things happened to me yesterday. The first was, I received all this shit about voting for the first time, which I chucked in the bin, 'cos I reckon all politicians are a bunch of dickheads. And the other thing was, my old man was watching a documentary about insects rooting on fig leaves, so I caught the end of the world news. And I saw this guy who was being chased by his own government, and I didn't understand anything about it except that he was wearing a Nick Cave T-shirt. And then I wondered how a guy my age, with my taste in music, had gotten himself into a situation where his own government was trying to have him shot, just because he had something to say. And I realised I'm lucky because in this country, I can rant and rave and call the Prime Minister a dickhead without the Army coming in and shooting me, and stopping you all from listening. And I figured that in this country, we don't vote to keep the best party in--'cos there's no such thing--but we vote to keep the worst party out. Because I don't want to end up being watched by some bloke at the other end of the world who thinks that this can't happen to him.
- [Before getting on a motorbike]
- Jacob Coote: You ready?
- Josie Alibrandi: Just let me check my bag for ID. I don't want to be named Jane Doe at the morgue.
- Jacob Coote: You get into punch-ups with aspiring models, you wipe your nose with your sleeve... you're my kind of chick. Why are we such a disaster together?
- Josie Alibrandi: "Dear Guiness Book of Records: I've just been out on a 10-minute date. Is that a record?"
- Christina Alibrandi: I wonder what I did to deserve you.
- Josie Alibrandi: Would you like me to refresh your memory?
- Jacob Coote: Do you want to go out with me?
- Josie Alibrandi: You'd have to meet my mother.
- Jacob Coote: I don't meet mothers.
- Josie Alibrandi: Well, I don't go out with guys who don't meet mothers.
- Jacob Coote: All right, forget it, it was a stupid idea anyway.
- John Barton: I'm joining the Young Libs.
- Josie Alibrandi: I didn't know you were political.
- John Barton: My father's into job security.
- Josie Alibrandi: What? Being the leader of the Liberal party?
- Christina Alibrandi: Now! This very minute! This very second!
- Josie Alibrandi: Are you sure you don't mean in an hour?
- Josie Alibrandi: I have the dubious honour of being Vice-Captain, which is kind of like being runner-up at the Miss Universe beauty pageant. I get to take over if Miss St Martha's becomes ill or gets involved in a sex scandal.
- Josie Alibrandi: Wait, my father's a barrister,
- Carly Bishop: She's lying! She doesn't have a father!
- Josie Alibrandi: Yeah, that's right. And I'm the immaculate conception and my mother's the Virgin Mary!