Paulo Costanzo credited as playing...
Rubin
- Rubin: It's supposed to be a challenge, that's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way.
- Rubin: This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own.
- Motel Clerk: Am I a drug dealer? No, I am not. Thank you for asking, though.
- Rubin: No? OK. That's OK. Thanks.
- Motel Clerk: Is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps you'd like an 11-year old prostitute sent to your room. We can do that. Or maybe we can off someone for you. Huh? How's that sound? I've got it. Why don't we start small? Would you like a fresh towel? Maybe you could roll that up and smoke it.
- Rubin: [sotto, walking away] Dick.
- Motel Clerk: By the way, Cheech, that credit card you guys gave me last night was maxed out, so don't go spending all your cash on needles and guns just yet.
- E.L.: I thought I told you to mail this yesterday?
- Rubin: Yeah, I posted it this morning.
- E.L.: [Josh watches for a second, then the reality hits him] OH FUCK!
- [Josh scrabbles on the floor for the video]
- E.L.: W-w-w-wait a second. Tell me you mailed the Beth tape to Tiffany.
- [Josh nods]
- E.L.: Yes!
- Josh: Shit! Oh, no! Oh, no!
- Barry: Hey, hey.
- Josh: What?
- Barry: Did you make a copy? Because if you made a copy we could watch the copy.
- E.L.: Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state.
- Kyle: That makes no sense.
- E.L.: Hey, don't look at me Kyle, OK, I didn't make up the rules.
- Rubin: No no, this is legit, I- I've actually read an article about this. There's a whole bunch of them, it's like- they're like loopholes. Right, for argument's sake, let's say that you were sleeping with two girls at the same time, it- it wouldn't be cheating because they would cancel each other out.
- E.L.: Exactly. Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place.