Nathan West: Jan

Bring It On

Jan

[first lines]
Big Red: I'm sexy, I'm cute, / I'm popular to boot.
Big Red, Whitney, Courtney, Darcy, Carver, Kasey, Torrance Shipman: I'm bitchin', great hair, / The boys all love to stare, / I'm wanted, I'm hot, / I'm everything you're not, / I'm pretty, I'm cool, / I dominate this school, / Who am I? Just guess, / Guys wanna touch my chest, / I'm rockin', I smile, / And many think I'm vile, / I'm flyin', I jump, / You can look but don't you hump, / Whoo / I'm major, I roar, / I swear I'm not a whore, / We cheer and we lead, / We act like we're on speed, / Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, / Well we don't like you either, / We're cheerleaders, / We are cheerleaders. /Roll call...
Big Red: Call me Big Red.
Whitney: I'm W-W-Whitney.
Courtney: C-C-C-C-Courtney.
[Courtney makes cat snarl]
Darcy: Dude, it's Darcy.
Carver: I'm big bad Carver. Yeah!
Kasey: Just call me Kasey!
Big Red: I'm... still Big Red, / I sizzle, I scorch, / But now I pass the torch, / The ballots are in, / And one girl has to win, / She's perky, she's fun, / And now she's number one, / K-K-Kick it Torrance, / T-T-T-Torrance!
Torrance Shipman: I'm strong and I'm loud, / I'm gonna make you proud, / I'm T-T-T-Torrance, / Your captain Torrance.
Whitney, Courtney, Darcy, Carver, Kasey, Torrance Shipman, Jan, Les: Let's go Toros. /We are the Toros, / The Mighty Mighty Toros, / We're so terrific, / We must be Toros.

Jan: They don't go, we win; once again, we're the best.
Torrance Shipman: I define being the best as competing against the best there is out there and beating them. They have to go.

Cheerleaders: [Cheerleaders from opposing team] Hey, Toros! / That's right / The red black and white / Guess What / Guess What / You really SUCK!
Torrance Shipman: Hey...
Torrance Shipman, Courtney, Whitney, Kasey, Darcy, Missy, Jan, Les: That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday! / That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday!

Courtney: Tell me we're not actually continuing the masquerade and having try-outs. Let's cut the crap and pick somebody now! Whitney's little sister Jamie is really teeny. She'll be easy to toss, and she doesn't give lip.
Jan: Just tongue.
Whitney: Kiss my ass, Jan!
Jan: I'd love to.

Jan: You know, all the cheerleaders in the world wouldn't help our football team.
Les: It's just wrong. Cheering for them is just plain mean!

Toros Quarterback: Whoa! Sexy Leslie and Jan-Jan the cheerleading man!
Toros Tight End: Hey fags!
Les: What? Just because we won more trophies than you guys is no reason for you to get all... malignant.
Toros Quarterback: [grabbing his balls] Malignant *this*, tool!
Toros Tight End: [high-fiving the quarterback and laughs] Nice!
Jan: One of these days man...
Les: Let it go! They've never even won a single game! You gotta be kinda rough on them.
[calling out to Les]
Les: Besides, they're dicks!

Les: [Their first practice after the long summer] Pinch some panties, someone's slacking!
Jan: [to Courtney, who they're holding] Do I look like a milkmaid 'cause somebody feels like a cow!

Toros Quarterback: [the Toros football team just lost the game. The quarterback mock-cheers the Toros cheerleading team sarcastically] Jan's got spirit, yes he do.
Toros Tight End: [cheers sarcastically] Jan's got spirit, how 'bout you?
Jan: Dude! You just *lost*!