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Natasha Lyonne in But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

Quotes

But I'm a Cheerleader

Edit
  • Hilary: It's really easy to be a prude when you're not attracted to him, isn't it?
  • Joel: I... I mean, you're more than just a sissy. You're nice and... and clean and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and...
  • Andre: Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!
  • Andre: Congratulations, liars! You know who you are and you know who you want. Ain't nothin' gonna change that. Shit!
  • Megan: [to Graham] 1,2,3,4 - I won't take no anymore. 5,6,7,8 - I want you to be my mate. 1,2,3,4 - you're the one that I adore. 5,6,7,8 - don't run from me 'cause this is fate.
  • Joel: What about foreplay?
  • Mary: No! Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!
  • Graham: You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught!
  • Megan: How'd YOU end up here?
  • Graham: I got caught.
  • Hilary: This is where we sleep, but there's no inappropriate behavior allowed.
  • Megan: Inappropriate? Like swearing?
  • Graham: No, inappropriate like fucking.
  • Megan: Your parents didn't stay very long.
  • Graham: Well, I imagine it gets uncomfortable sitting that long with a stick up your ass.
  • Megan: [after Graham kisses Megan for the first time] I'm not supposed to like you.
  • Graham: But?
  • Megan: I wanna do that again.
  • [Megan kisses Graham]
  • Megan: Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.
  • Graham: Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.
  • Megan: [realizes, then shouts:] I'm a homosexual!
  • [shocked:]
  • Megan: I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual!
  • Mary: Congratulations, Megan. You have just taken your first step in your true direction!
  • Megan: [dismayed sobbing] I'm a homosexual!
  • Mary: Don't worry, Megan. It's gonna be okay.
  • Megan: No...!
  • [drools]
  • Mary: Here, put these on.
  • [hands out a pink outfit]
  • Megan: [by herself now, sobs] Oh, my God... They were right. I'm a homo!
  • Graham: [after Megan sees Graham and Sinead dancing] Megan, it's not what you think.
  • Megan: That's why we came here, right? So *you* could be yourself.
  • Graham: I don't like Sinead that way.
  • Megan: Which way is that, clothed?
  • Graham: We weren't doing anything.
  • Megan: Oh, when you were going like this, you weren't doing anything.
  • Graham: No we, I wasn't, I wasn't doing that!
  • Megan: It doesn't matter.
  • Graham: Why are you freaking out?
  • Megan: It's none of my business. Do what you want.
  • Graham: You want me to do what I want?
  • Megan: I could care less.
  • Graham: What I *really* want?
  • Megan: Screw you!
  • [Graham kisses Megan]
  • Megan: So it sounds stupid to you, but I really love it. Cheerleading's the one thing that's kept me happy. It's exhilarating.
  • Graham: I would love to see you cheer.
  • Megan: Don't make fun of me!
  • Graham: No, I'm not. I'm not. Don't you think maybe I'm just jealous that you love something?
  • Megan: I'm stuck on "5, 6, 7, 8, God is good..."
  • Graham: "God is straight!"
  • Megan: Hey, that's good.
  • Sinead: I'm Sinead. I like pain. I'm a homosexual.
  • Graham: What, would you tie her to your bed and zap her to death, or are you running low on batteries?
  • Mary: Ok, then, who's left to report out their root? Andre?
  • Andre: Shit, Ms. Mary, I ain't the only one who ain't got no root.
  • Mary: Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Ok, who's next? Megan!
  • Megan: Well, I've really been thinking but I just can't think of anything.
  • Graham: I think our little Prom Queen is too afraid to disclose.
  • Megan: Oh, really? What's your root, Graham?
  • Graham: We're working on your issue here, not mine. You're deflecting.
  • Mary: Actually, I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.
  • Graham: My mother got married in pants.
  • [group applauds]
  • Mary: All right, let's see, uh, Dolph!
  • Dolph: Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.
  • Mary: Hilary?
  • Hilary: Um, all girl boarding school.
  • Mary: Sinead.
  • Sinead: I was born in France.
  • Mary: Clayton.
  • Clayton Dunn: My mom let me play in her pumps.
  • Jan: I like balls.
  • Mary: Why, thank you for that Jan.
  • [group applauds]
  • Mary: Joel?
  • Joel: Traumatic... bris. So... yeah.
  • Graham: [to Megan] I thought it was just an act, but you really are sweet as fucking pie, aren't you?
  • Mike: Boys! Don't you see how sad and pathetic you all are? Always wanting something you can't have. If I catch you looking at another man like that ever again, you'll be watching sports... the whole weekend!
  • Graham: I'm Graham, and I like girls. A lot.
  • Andre: She's just upset because the fish on her plate is the only kind she can eat.
  • Mary: Have you ever had a boyfriend?
  • Megan: Yes. For 2 years, we've been going steady. And I really love him. He's smart, and popular...
  • Graham: [interrupting, sarcastically] And he's got the biggest dick I've never seen.
  • Hilary: Well, um, have you ever - had sex with him?
  • Megan: I'm a Christian.
  • Hilary: It's really easy to be a prude when you're not attracted to him, isn't it?
  • Lloyd: We're just trying to provide you all with a balanced perspective, to see that there are options. In the end, it's up to you whether you choose to live a...
  • Larry: Lie.
  • Lloyd: Whether you want to be who you are or keep it hidden is really more what we're about.
  • Megan: So you run like, the underground homo railroad.
  • Jan: I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it. I just want a big fat wiener up my...
  • Andre: Amen, sister.
  • Sinead: If that little twink would've narked on me, heads would have rolled.
  • Mary: [to Graham, after she caught her making out with Megan] It's your choice: you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.
  • Mike: I myself was once a gay. Now I'm an ex-gay, Meghan.
  • Peter Bloomfield: It's about your um... well... um...
  • Nancy Bloomfield: Your little field trip to the Cocksucker
  • Peter Bloomfield: Your field trip to the C...
  • Mary: Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this. You were supposed to be the role model! Now, Get - Up - Right - Now!
  • Megan: You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!
  • Graham: Well, where else would we go?
  • Dolph: I'm doing this for you, not for Clayton!
  • Megan: Yeah, right.

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Natasha Lyonne in But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)
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