Will & Grace (1998–2020)
John Cleese: Lyle Finster
Quotes
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[Lyle walks in]
Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.
[Karen rolls her eyes]
Lyle Finster : Which is a nice change, since the women I'm usually with cause a burning feeling in an altogether different area.
Karen : Get lost, David Cop-a-feel. Just because we once made out like drunk straight girls at a frat party, doesn't mean you're wanted here.
Grace : [to Lyle] Hi. Welcome to my office. And we usually reserve this kind of talk for casual sex Friday.
Lyle Finster : Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Lyle Finster.
Grace : Finster? Oh my God. You're Lorraine's father. You tricked Karen into kissing you.
Karen : That's right. And it ain't never gonna happen again. No, sir. Not on my watch.
Lyle Finster : I understand. But I only came here to return the kiss that you left on my lips.
Karen : What? Give it back!
[Karen jumps on Lyle and they start making out and growling]
Grace : If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go in the back and gouge out my eyes and puncture my eardrums.
Karen : Oh, no, honey, stay. I was just taking back my -
[realizes]
Karen : Hey!
Lyle Finster : Karen, I'm lost without you. I've tried to fill the void with secretaries and whores, but at the end of the hour, it's you I wish I was paying.
Grace : Really, I'm uncomfortable.
Karen : It's never gonna happen between us, Lyle. So beat it.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But I'll never forget you. Every mouth that I kiss will be your mouth. Every bottom that I slap will be your bottom. Every nipple that I tweak...
Grace : Please, one of us has to go!
Karen : Get out.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But know this: Every vagina...
Grace : GET OUT!
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[Marion is doing the chicken dance with Lyle at he and Karyn's wedding reception]
Marion Finster : Lyle, too bad our father isn't alive to see this!
Lyle Finster : ...He isn't?
Marion Finster : Oh, damn, I knew there was something I was supposed to tell you.
-
[Lyle has chosen Karen over Lorraine]
Lyle Finster : I-I'm sorry, Lorraine. I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and I *am* in love with Karen.
Karen : What? You are?
Lyle Finster : Yes, and it's - it's never happened to me before.
Lorraine : But what about my mummy?
Lyle Finster : Well, I-I wasn't so much *in* love with mummy as I was *in* an alley and *out* of condoms.