Heath Ledger credited as playing...
Patrick Verona
- Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl.
- Kat Stratford: Is that right?
- Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.
- Patrick: So what's your excuse?
- Kat Stratford: For?
- Patrick: Acting the way we do.
- Kat Stratford: I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?
- Patrick: So you disappoint them from the start and then you're covered, right?
- Kat Stratford: Something like that
- Patrick: Then you screwed up!
- Kat Stratford: How?
- Patrick: You never disappointed me.
- Cameron: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time.
- Patrick: Cameron, do you like the girl?
- Cameron: Yeah.
- Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble?
- Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I...
- Patrick: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it.
- [last lines]
- Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know?
- Patrick: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.
- [They smile and kiss]
- Kat Stratford: [Pulls away] And don't just think you can - !
- [They kiss again]
- Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?
- [Patrick winks at her]
- Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
- Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist.
- Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
- Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on?
- Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
- Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.
- Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you.
- Kat Stratford: You think?
- [Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her]
- Patrick: [to Kat] Who knocked up your sister?
- Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
- [reaches into a jar]
- Michael: Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
- [they find Patrick drinking and smoking]
- Patrick: So what have ya got for me?
- Cameron: A little insight into a very complicated girl.
- Michael: Excuse me, uh, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
- Patrick: [confused] What?
- Michael: Nothing. Nothing.
- Cameron: Alright, uh, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
- [slowly removes Patrick's cigarette]
- Patrick: So, you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker.
- Michael: Yes. Well, just for now.
- Cameron: And, um, and here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
- Patrick: [looks confused and slowly rises] Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
- Michael: H-He's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
- Cameron: Yeah. I-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know.
- Michael: [gives him two thumbs up] You're a gorgeous guy.
- Cameron: [Patrick sits back down] Alright, uh, yeah, okay, here's this, uh... Likes: Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music of the Indie Rock persuasion. Here's a list of the CDs that she has in her room.
- Patrick: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?
- Michael: Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
- Cameron: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night.
- Patrick: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right?
- Cameron: But she'll be there, she's got tickets.
- Michael: Hey listen, assail your ears for one night.
- Cameron: She has a pair of black underwear, if that helps.
- Michael: [laughing cooly] Couldn't hurt, right?
- Patrick: Hey there girly. How you doin'?
- Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
- Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh?
- Kat Stratford: My mission in life. But, obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense again.
- Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual.
- Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
- Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
- Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.
- Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!
- Kat Stratford: Tell me something true.
- Patrick: Something true... I hate peas.
- Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows.
- Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.