Paulina Porizkova credited as playing...
Dallas
- [Casey is tied to a chair, Dallas is holding a gun on him]
- Dallas: So, it looks like we're gonna have to wait for Nick. What should we do to kill some time? I know... Let's fuck.
- Casey: [sarcastically] That's happening. Even if you weren't the most disgusting bitch I've ever met, I'd have to decline. You see, I'm a married man.
- Dallas: You seem to be under the impression that you have a choice here.
- [Dallas goes to the stereo and picks a CD to play]
- Dallas: You'll appreciate the irony here.
- [Dallas picks up a photo of Casey's wife, licks it, and puts it on the counter behind him]
- Dallas: She wanted to watch.
- Casey: Fuck you, bitch.
- [Dallas slaps Casey hard across the face]
- Casey: There's no fucking way you'll ever get me inside you.
- [lyrics: "I don't know why I can't help myself"]
- Dallas: [leans in close] You wanna bet?
- Dallas: I went on as a day player. On this porn film in LA. Just to see what it was like. Right? So I spent 5 hours with this guy ramming his dick up my ass and these two women licking my clit. Not what you expect, though - it's just acting. At first, it was great. And then you have some prick director who comes over and yells "Cut!" in your face and some queen make-up artist who comes over every couple of minutes to touch up the make-up that's being slobbered off of your tits. So you don't really have a chance to enjoy it. Finally, I just walked off the set. Cool experience, though. You got a hard-on, Jarv?
- Dallas: I've gotta tell you, Casey. I'm not impressed. After everything I heard about you, I thought you were gonna be more like... me. But you are a sheep like all the rest.
- Casey: There will come a time, when even you can't handle it any more. You'll pack it up... or you'll put a bullet in that pretty little head of yours, or someone else will.
- Casey: [Dallas arrives at the Casey's house] Can I help you?
- Dallas: May I.
- Casey: All right, may I help you?
- Dallas: So you're Casey?
- Casey: That's right.
- Dallas: I'm a friend of Nick's.
- Casey: I bet you are.
- Dallas: May I come in?
- Casey: Nick is not here right now.
- Dallas: I'll wait.
- Casey: I'm a little busy.
- Dallas: Well, I'll be real quiet.
- [Sneaks under Casey's arm into the house]
- Casey: Look, lady, I just told you I'm a little busy.
- Dr. Jarvis: It's quite all right, Mr. Wells, I think I would enjoy speaking with your friend.
- Casey: She's not my friend, I don't know who the fuck she is.
- Dallas: Do you like pornos?
- Dr. Jarvis: Excuse me?
- Dallas: You know, pornos. Fuck films. Surely, you've heard stories.
- Dr. Jarvis: [uncomfortable] Yes, I've heard stories, but I've never... I've never really given them that much thought.
- Dallas: I love them, especially fag flicks. Their big cocks sliding in and out of each other. Fuck, that gets me so wet, they have to steam-clean the seat after I leave.
- Dallas: [leans back] In fact, mmm...
- Dallas: [grabs her crotch] I'm getting wet just talking about it.
- Dallas: You can keep the smack and I'll take the money.
- Casey: Money? What fucking money?
- Dallas: Looks like we're going around circles here.
- [Puts a gun to his head]
- Dallas: I need two mill, Casey. Now let me...
- Casey: Now let me explain something to you. I am not a drug dealer. It's been four years since I've seen any drugs. I'm an architect. I'm a little happy Republican who spends the majority of his time trying to figure out how to pay the fucking bills and how make my wife happy.
- Dallas: Tell me, you're not one of those Freudian sub-intellectuals who waste all their time fixating on penis envy.
- Dr. Jarvis: Well, sex *is* a prime motivator. I mean, indirectly, I believe sex is behind most of our major thought processes.
- Dallas: You think so?
- Dr. Jarvis: Absolutely.
- Dallas: Do you like pornos?
- Dallas: Just get the fucking coffee and let's go.
- Billy Hill: This ain't exactly Brazil. I coulda pissed you a fuckin' cup by now.
- Nick: [to Cashier] HEY? You're out of Chocolate Mac!
- Cashier: Sorry. No Chocolate Macadamia. You will please have something else?
- Nick: [filling cup] Fuckin' Hazelnut...
- Cashier: [ringing up cash register] That will be one dollar and eight cents.
- Nick: The sign says "All coffee: 69 cents."
- Cashier: I am very sorry, but that is a 44-ounce cup and the largest coffee cup is 20 ounces. Therefore, I must charge you 99 cents, plus tax, the price of a large fountain drink.
- Nick: That's bullshit! That sign says "Coffee: all sizes", not "all sizes up to 20 ounces."
- Cashier: I'm humbly sorry, but you must pay 99 cents, plus tax, for that cup.
- Dallas: Just pay the bitch the dollar-eight and let's get the FUCK outta here!
- Nick: Fine, but it's bullshit. Just get me my fuckin' snackie cake.
- Cashier: I'm sorry. I cannot do that. That is *only* available with the 20-ounce coffee. That is not a 20-ounce coffee.
- Billy Hill: This bitch is gettin' on my nerves, man. Forget it!
- Dallas: Just give him the fuckin' danish.
- Nick: That sign says, "Free snackie cake." I paid a dollar and eight cents for my coffee. I want my free snackie cake!
- Cashier: I *cannot* do that.
- Dallas: [puts snackie cake on the counter] Here. Hmmm? Take it!
- Nick: That's apple cinnamon! I wanted cream cheese.
- Billy Hill: For fuck's sake, pay her the money and let's go.
- Nick: [scoffs] Fine! Either of you got something smaller than a Ben?
- Cashier: [Billy opens his case and hands Nick a $50] I'm sorry. I cannot accept any moneys over a $20 bill.
- Billy Hill: [frustrated] That's it...
- Cashier: I should not sell it to you anyway, as that cup is very hot and might burn you. You are very strange. I'm going to call the police.
- Dallas: Fuck this. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!... BLAM!