Timothy Spall: Nick

Chicken Run

Nick

Nick: [on the chickens' plane before take-off, pointing then crossing his arms to point] The exits are located here and here. In the quite likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees...
Fetcher: and kiss your bum goodbye!

[last lines]
Nick: Here's a thought. Why don't we get an egg and start our own chicken farm? That way we'd have all the eggs we could eat.
Fetcher: Right. We'll need a chicken, then.
Nick: No... no, we'll need an egg. You have the egg first, that's where you get the chicken from.
Fetcher: No, that's cobblers. If you don't have a chicken, where are you going to get the egg?
Nick: From the chicken that comes from the egg.
Fetcher: Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken.
Nick: Yeah, but you've got to get the chicken first to get the egg, and then you get the egg... to get the chicken out of...
Fetcher: Hang on. Let's go over this again?

Nick: What are you sobbin' about, you nancy?
Fetcher: Little moments like this, mate. It's what makes the job all worthwhile. Wanna dance?
Nick: ...Yeah, all right.

Rocky: Guys, you are without a doubt the sneakiest, most light-fingered thieving parasites I've ever met.
Nick: [flattered] Oh, don't, don't. Stop it!
Fetcher: I've gone bright red.

[during the credits]
Nick: The egg, obviously, rolling along, happy as Larry, then crack! Hatches into the first chicken.
Fetcher: Yeah, but where'd the egg come from, then?
Nick: What do you mean where'd it come from?
Fetcher: Egg comes rollin' along, 'appy as Larry, it's wonderin'... where'd it come from? Without a chicken, you get no egg to come rollin' along.
Nick: Well, conversely, without an egg to hatch into the chicken, there will be no chicken to lay the other egg that hatches into the chicken that lays the egg I mentioned in the first place.
Nick: So we got two eggs now?
Fetcher: No, we're still talking about the very first egg.
Fetcher: Yeah, but what 'appened to the very first chicken?
Nick: 'E's in the very first egg, aren't you listening?
Rocky: Uh, guys, guys? We're trying to enjoy paradise over here.
Nick: Oh, sorry, guv.
Fetcher: Beg your pardon.
Nick: Won't happen again.
Rocky: Thanks.
Nick: Gitface.
Fetcher: Pillock.
Nick: Think he's such a bigshot 'cause he's got his name on a poster. Showbiz folk are all the same.
Fetcher: Yeah, the rats are the stars, actually. But he does get all the birds
Nick: Yeah, of course they are. We do all the 'ard work, 'e gets all the credit.
Fetcher: He gets everything, doesn't he?
Nick: Yes, he does. Everything.
Fetcher: You said it, mate.
Nick: I know.

Ginger: We need some more things.
Nick: Right you are, miss.
[opens suitcase and pulls out thimbles]
Nick: How about this quality, handcrafted tea set?
Ginger: No, thanks.
Fetcher: [holding a drain plug on a chain] Or this lovely necklace and pendant?
Ginger: It's love...
Nick: [holding a shuttlecock] Or this little number that's all the rage in the most fashionable coops in Paree? Simply pop it on like so...
[pops it on Ginger's head, feathers side up]
Nick: And as the French hens say, "Voilá!"
Fetcher: That is French.
Nick: It's two hats in one, miss. For parties...
[turns shuttlecock over]
Nick: For weddings. Oh, madame! This makes you look like a vision, like a dream.
Fetcher: Like a duck!

Nick: [hearing of eggs] Right. Just like the ones that rooster was gonna lay. Only roosters don't lay eggs, do they?
Fetcher: Don't they?
Nick: No, it's a lady thing, apparently - ask your mum.

Nick: [of the radio] Well, here she is. Ask and you shall receive.
Fetcher: That's Biblical.
Nick: That's real craftmanship, is what it is. Solid as a rock.
Fetcher: [Fbangs on it; a knob flies off and hits a chicken] It's supposed to do that.