Celebrity (1998)
Judy Davis: Robin Simon
Photos
Quotes
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Robin Simon : It's luck, Lee. No matter what the shrinks or the pundits or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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Robin Simon : How did I manage to swing this? Last year I was teaching English, performing a serious function. And suddenly, through a whirlwind series of events I've become a kind of woman I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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[sighting celebrities at a screening]
Tony Gardella : Oh, and getting out of the elevator I see there's a famous critic.
Robin Simon : Him, I recognize.
Tony Gardella : Oh, he used to hate every movie. Then, he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie.
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Dee Bartholomew : I ran into our Tony Gardello at the Cafe Carlyle. He had a blissed-out look like he had died and gone to heaven. How did you manage to put that smile on his face?
Robin Simon : Using my head...
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Robin Simon : [affecting a Southern accent] I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
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Robin Simon : [to Lee] I hope you catch a break.
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Robin Simon : [to Lee] So, who else do you wanna explore? Allison?
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Robin Simon : There wouldn't be any ticks around here, would there? I mean, I'd hate to get Lyme disease.
Priest at Catholic Retreat : We've had no casualties, so far.
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Jan - Robin's Friend : When my husband left me for his secretary, I was lost. And someone said, "You're Catholic. You were raised a Catholic. How could you even contemplate a hit man?" And they told me about this retreat.
Robin Simon : But, I'm not religious.
Jan - Robin's Friend : Nor am I. You think I lead a religious life? I have two divorces and two abortions. But, just to take a break from the chaos of the city to reflect.
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Robin Simon : All I'm good at is Chaucer.
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Robin Simon : I wanted to learn it from someone who'd teach it to me - down and dirty. If you know what I mean.
Nina - the Hooker : I'm just wondering where'd we begin?
Robin Simon : How about oral sex? Because, you know, somehow I feel it - you know, it really doesn't come naturally to me. I feel it's labored. You know, I have trouble breathing, actually, and once a cap for my tooth fell off and I swallowed it.
Nina - the Hooker : Do you enjoy it?
Robin Simon : I certainly don't mind it.
Nina - the Hooker : Do you enjoy it? Well, what goes through your mind when you're doing it?
Robin Simon : The crucifixion. I can't help it. It's my upbringing.
Nina - the Hooker : Okay. All right. Well, look, why don't you just show me how you do it. Go ahead.
Robin Simon : Now?
Nina - the Hooker : Yeah, go ahead. Take the banana and give me your best blow job. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Down the hatch.
[Robin demonstrates]
Nina - the Hooker : Oh, my God. Have you ever injured him?
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Robin Simon : It's interesting to see who we choose as our celebrities, you know. And why?What makes them tick. You know, you can learn a lot about a society by who it chooses to celebrate.
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Robin Simon : Excuse me! The skinheads are here.