Celebrity

I must give Woody Allen credit for one thing: At least he seems to have stopped pretending that every gorgeous woman on earth is standing in line to throw herself at his protagonist. But what has he done instead? He has simply cast Kenneth Branagh in his place as a somewhat younger and more handsome substitute, but one who is, alas, no less frumpy, neurotic, unaccomplished and ultimately dislikable as Allen´s now-stock character has become in recent years. Really, watching Branagh imitate Allen to a "T" may be an interesting idea for a skit, but after about 25 minutes it is painful, and by the end of the film it is downright embarrassing. The Allen theme of "womanizer gets his comeuppance" is by now quite predictable, and this film does not deviate from it one bit. Some of the social satire is clever, as usual, but "Celebrity" ends up dying on the vine because of its wildly improbable insistence that nymphomaniac supermodels and barely-legal literary beauties cannot keep their hands off of a male protagonist who neither exhibits any sort of charisma nor has any kind of achievements to his credit. At least in many earlier Allen movies--and despite this and other recent efforts I am still a big fan of his work as a whole--there was a certain charm and allure to that one-note character of his. But merely inserting Kenneth Branagh to talk and act exactly like Woody Allen was definitely not the solution to the creativity problems which have plagued his films lately.

With Bullets Over Broadway, Mighty Aphrodite and Everyone Says I love You, Woodie had strung together a number of very likable and quite funny films. With this and Deconstructing Harry he gets more serious. Too bad. This bilious mess could have used an editor. I think, because he can get so many big stars so easily, he writes too many characters into this film, without the spread-thin script being able to support all of them.

A lot of people like this film - and indeed, I suppose it could be argued that there are a number of things that work in its favour - however, for me, it is easily the worst Woody Allen film that I have so far seen, and I own 28 of them. Call it a matter of personal taste, but the main problem I had with the film was the complete lack of interest in any of the characters or the situations that they find themselves in; with Allen creating a shambolic, Fellini inspired freak show filled with grossly caricatured pantomime players parading from one scene to the next with no thought or feeling. When you think about the ideas behind the film, this particular presentation becomes almost genius (albeit, unintentionally so) and should have really led to some wicked satire on the nature of celebrity and the lengths that people will go to in order to maintain it. Unfortunately however, the film fails to build on this premise and becomes disengaging; largely because it has absolutely nothing of interest to say!

I suppose if it was simply Allen's intention to truly capture the sense of vapid, empty malaise of celebrity life in a way that created a similar feeling for even the most inattentive of viewers, then he certainly succeeded with this; creating a film in which pretentious, narcissistic characters wander from one improbable scenario to the next, continually complaining about the dissatisfaction of their personal lives and relationships, whilst never quite seeming to realise that their actual problems are really a result of their own repugnant, self-infatuated personalities. One of his more recent films, Melinda and Melinda (2004) suffered from some similar problems - with the idea of affluent, well-to-do characters complaining about how hard life is from the comfort of their Park Avenue penthouses really crippling the identifiable elements of the drama - but even then, Allen was able to offer at least some level of technical invention and an approach to the story that was interesting and unique. Here, the style is generic and unadventurous as we follow Branagh's self-infatuated and highly deluded writer/journalist and part time Allen-caricature from one assignment to the next, usually resulting in a comic seduction of an incredibly attractive woman, and a lot of talk about his supposedly great, unfinished novel.

Unsurprisingly, the lack of focus and Allen's inability to put his ideas into context or character, results in a difficult film that is sometimes "OK", and other times woefully embarrassing. I understand Allen's ultimate intention and what he was trying to achieve with both the film and the characters, but for the episodic plot to really work he had to offer us some original insights, moments of imagination and a series of larger than life characters that were truly iconic. There's nothing here that is as unique, exciting and exotic as something like Nights of Cabiria (1957) or La dolce vita (1960), two films that Celebrity (1998) seems most heavily indebted to; with the characters generally trying to outdo one another in terms of bland pontification, snobbery and self-delusion. Certainly, I can understand why some viewers would enjoy the film - the cinematography is impeccable, there are some definite laugh out loud moments and some fine supporting performances from the talented and eclectic cast - however, there's nothing here that hasn't already been said before in far greater films such as Manhattan (1979), Stardust Memories (1980) and Husbands and Wives (1992), to name just three.

Both Branagh and Davis are terrible as the divorced couple central to the narrative, with both actors employing the usual quirks and ticks of Allen's regular on-screen persona in their own delivery and mannerisms, with Branagh in particular trying to "act" the part of Woody Allen, albeit, with none of the comic timing or genuine feeling of self-deprecation. Davis is just as bad - woefully over-the-top and shouting her lines in a way that was at least fitting when she played the same part in Husbands and Wives - whilst the scene in which her character and Bebe Neuwirth's prostitute perform Fellatio on a pair of bananas is cringe-worthy and really beneath a filmmaker of Allen's great stature. Many of the other members of the cast are fine however, including Charlize Theron as a seductive supermodel, Leonardo DiCaprio as the typically hedonistic Hollywood trouble-maker, Joe Mantegna as Davis' sensitive love-interest and Famke Janssen as one of Branagh's numerous bedroom companions; but ultimately the lack of an interesting central character is a real handicap that severely affects the impact of the film.

Ten years on, and Celebrity still remains one of Allen's most difficult and polarising works, and a close relation to Deconstructing Harry (1997) in terms of dissenting critical opinion amongst long term fans and admirers. For me, it is simply a film that I didn't enjoy on any level; whilst the people that did like it probably liked it for the reasons that I failed to connect with it. I suppose there are some individual factors that are interesting enough in their own right, however, for me it simply felt like Allen repeating himself; going over the same old themes and scenarios that he'd already expressed in far greater films and creating something sluggish and lazy. I'd still rank him as possibly the greatest living American filmmaker, simply off the strength of the films that he produced in the 70's and 80's, but this is surely a middling, or perhaps even mediocre effort by anyone's standards?

Judged against other movies, Celebrity rates higher than it does when judged against Woody Allen movies. In other words, the director's consistent pace and huge body of work virtually begs for critics to keep ranking each of Allen's films against past efforts and so on. Celebrity is not as good as Deconstructing Harry or Everyone Says I Love You (to cite just two of Allen's recent pictures), but it still bears the hallmarks of Allen's success: great ensemble work, witty and intelligent writing, amusing set-pieces, and excellent photography. Kenneth Branagh fills in as the Woody character, and channels Allen's vocal tics and mannerisms to the point of perfection or distraction, depending on one's point of view. Judy Davis, a welcome sight in any movie, captures Branagh's ex-wife perfectly. The remainder of the cast aids in Allen's dissection of modern media celebrity, and does what it can with this good, but not great, material.

It is a witty, funny black film in which Kenneth B. plays the best "woody allen" of all times. The direction of photography is traditional compared with his last films.

An excellent satire of celebrities with more believable less neurotic characters than I expect from a woody allen movie. The subtle critics to catholics (instead of jews) are good for a change.

I would recommend this modern classic not only to woody's fans but to anyone who likes independent films.

Besides, the rabbis and skinheads being accidentally put together in a waiting room (and getting along) is something you won't see in anywhere else.