Private Parts (1997)
Fred Norris: Fred Norris
Photos
Quotes
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Jackie : My answer is "cock", and I wrote it really big, so I have a "big cock!"
Howard : I'm afraid you can't say "big cock" on the air. That's a no-no.
Robin Quivers : But I just said "pussy".
Jackie : [whining] Yeah, she just said *pussy*!
Howard : Well, pussy's okay. It's the way you say it. "Big cock" coming out of your mouth is, just not good.
Jackie : Wait a minute. I can't say "big cock", but you can say "big cock coming out of your mouth?"
Howard : That's right.
Jackie : That sucks!
[Pig Vomit, very pissed off, starts running for the studio]
Fred Norris : [as Richard Nixon] Did you just say "big cock coming out of your mouth that sucks"?
Howard : So Brett, what did you write down?
Robin Quivers : [as Brett Summers] Just like the boys, Gene. I've got "cock".
Howard : Do me a favor. Hold that up for a second so I can see your "cock".
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Howard Stern : Whoooweeee. That's me. This is Lance Lewhatsup at WNBC. WNnnnnnBC, and I am proud to be New York's first ever gay disc jockey. Ever.
Fred Norris : Ever.
Howard Stern : Now I want to introduce to you my soul-mate, my love-mate, who I couldn't be without, Mr. Blaxwell.
Fred Norris : Wilkommen, Bienvenue. Welcome.
Robin Quivers : Well, it's great to meet you both and it is a pleasure to have you here, but I understand there's already been a problem?
Howard Stern : Oh, yes. See, I was up in the Program Director's office and his name is Pig Vomit. Because he looks like a pig and he makes you want to vomit. Pig Vomit. So Pig Vomit says to me, "The name of the station isn't WNBC. It is WNnnnnnnBC. WNnnnnnnnBC." That I wasn't saying the call letters properly. It's a big problem. So, to um, *rectify* this, I brought along a cup of Blaxwell's semen.
Robin Quivers : Semen?
Fred Norris : I squoze it myself. I hope it's not too tangy.
Howard Stern : Now I'm going to gargle it, and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.
Robin Quivers : Do you really think that'll work?
Howard Stern : Oh, who cares. 'Cause I just love the taste of a man. Ooooh-ga.
Fred Norris : Ooooh-ga.
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Robin Quivers : Oh, my God, You just swallowed.
Howard Stern : I *swallowed*!
Fred Norris : Waste not, want not, Robin.
Howard Stern : I want you all to know that I love WNnnnnnnnBC. See, now I can say it WNnnnnnnnnBC.