Jamie Kennedy credited as playing...
Randy
- Sidney Prescott: [when Randy reveals that he's still alive] Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.
- Randy: I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.
- Randy: There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
- [crowd boos]
- Randy: BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
- [crowd cheers and raises their bottles]
- Randy: The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
- Stu: I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
- Randy: Yeah, sure.
- Stu: I'll be right back.
- [crowd cheers]
- Randy: See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
- Randy: [Gale, Sid and Randy are looking at Billy's body] Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.
- [Billy starts to rise]
- Sidney Prescott: [shoots Billy] Not in my movie.
- Randy: There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
- Randy: If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?
- Stu: Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
- Tatum: That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct.
- Randy: That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.
- Stu: Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. Takes a man to do something like that.
- Tatum: Or a man's mentality.
- Randy: Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.
- Drunk teen: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go over there before they pry him down!
- Stu: I didn't kill anybody.
- Billy: Nobody said you did.
- Stu: Thanks, buddy!
- Randy: Besides... "Takes a MAN to do something like that!"
- Stu: I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.
- Randy: [using Jerry Lewis' voice] Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.