Quotes
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Beavis : Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!
Bus Driver : Hey, buddy, sit down.
Beavis : Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored!
Bus Driver : Hey, I'm warning you! SIT DOWN!
Beavis : [motioning to Martha] It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
Old Guy : [nodding] Oh, yeah.
Beavis : But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!
Bus Driver : [fed up with being disobeyed] ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT, NUMB-NUTS!
[tackles Beavis to the floor]
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Flight attendant : [to another passenger] Hi. We're serving dinner now. Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo.
Beavis : [raising his head a few rows in front] Piccata, TP caca!
Man : Uh, excuse me, does the gumbo have corn in it?
Beavis : [now standing with his hands up and his T-shirt collar raised over his head] I am Cornholio! I need piccata for my bunghole!
Flight attendant : [to Beavis] You'll have to wait your turn, sir.
Beavis : Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait!
Beavis : [walking off towards the cockpit] Bungholio!