Steve Martin credited as playing...
George Banks
- Matty Banks: I'm, 4-foot 6, I don't shave, I don't have a job, and I'm gonna be an uncle. Is there something weird about that?
- George Banks: Finally, someone who thinks like I do.
- Nina Banks: Oh, yeah, a 12 year old.
- George Banks: Mr Habeeb, please, You see this pathway? I laid these bricks with my own two hands, I planted this grass, I built this fence, I BROKE THAT WINDOW WITH A FRISBEE, I painted these shutters. Don't bulldoze my memories man sell me back my home.
- Mr Habeeb: For how much?
- George Banks: I have to admit, having Franck at the house did help. Although I had no idea what he did there all day.
- Franck Eggelhoffer: [Marching] Do the baby 'vorkout'! Make those babies gleefull! Oh, that's good. Little tin soldiers. Happy tin soldiers. Richt. And now with an attitude.
- [throws head back]
- Franck Eggelhoffer: Hello! Who you? Get 'avay'! I don't like 'vat' you say!
- George Banks: We could sell this house in a second. It's the Leave It to Beaver house that everybody wants.
- Nina Banks: Matty, what's going on?
- Matty Banks: May I be excused?
- Nina Banks: No, no sir. You may NOT be excused.
- [George gets up to leave]
- Nina Banks: George?
- George Banks: The guy offered me $10,000 to be out of the house in ten days.
- Nina Banks: The guy offered you $10,000 to out of the house in ten days?
- John MacKenzie: I hope you took it, George.
- Matty Banks: He did. And he threw in Mom's favorite dishes just to close the deal.
- Nina Banks: George!
- George Banks: [yells an order in Arabic]
- George Banks: Mr Habeeb, this is not a piece of land. This is my home and I'm gonna be a father again and I don't want to bring my baby home to a condo on the beach! I wanna drive down that street and I wanna pull into this driveway and I wanna honk my horn...
- George Banks: [regarding Nina's pregnancy] That was a moment of pure insanity!
- Dr. Brooks: Would you like to know how many moments of pure insanity I've delivered over the last 20 years?