Jim Carrey credited as playing...
Stanley Ipkiss • The Mask
- The Mask: [standing in front of a mirror, in the process of going out to a club] It's party time. P, A, R, T, why? Because I gotta!
- [after being shot, in a Southern accent]
- Mask: Hold me closer, Ed, it's getting dark.
- [coughs]
- Mask: Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out.
- [coughs, in a British accent]
- Mask: Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas
- [coughs, imitating Clark Gable]
- Mask: Tell Scarlett I do give a damn.
- [coughs in Orlando's face, raspberries, then farts]
- Mask: Pardon me.
- [he dies, the Peanut Gallery appears and applauds while The Mask is handed an acting award]
- Mask: Thank you, you love me, you really love me!
- Doyle: [frisking the Mask] Really big sunglasses.
- Park Policeman: Bike horn.
- Doyle: Small mouth bass.
- Park Policeman: Bowling pin.
- Doyle: [Yells in pain] Mouse trap.
- Park Policeman: Rubber chicken.
- Mask: A little to the left... that's it.
- Doyle: [squeezes a stress releaver toy a few times] Mmmm, I don't know. Funny eyeball glasses?
- Mask: I've never seen those before in my life.
- Park Policeman: Bazooka?
- Mask: I have a permit for that.
- Doyle: [going through The Mask's pocket] Picture of Kellaway's wife.
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: [shocked] What?
- Mask: [mockingly] Uh-oh.
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: [sees a photo of his wife in a sexy nightgown with the words 'Call Me Lover! 555-9371' written on it] Margaret! You son of a bitch!
- [He tries to punch the Mask, but the Mask easily dodges him]
- Mask: Geez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all - you married her!
- [slaps both Kellaway and Doyle in the face repeatedly]
- Mask: That's gotta hurt.
- [makes a silly face and runs off]
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Get him!
- [looks down to see his and Doyle's wrists are handcuffed to each other]
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Doyle!
- Mr. Dickey: Ipkiss, we have a crisis on our hands here and you stroll in over an hour late? If I have to put up with your slovenly behavior...
- Stanley Ipkiss: BACK OFF, Monkey Boy, before I tell your daddy you're running this place like it's your own personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS, and see if we can arrange a little vacation for you at Club FED!
- Mr. Dickey: [shocked from being told off by his employee] That'll be all, Ipkiss.
- [the Mask pulls out his guns and aims them at Dorian's henchman]
- The Mask: [In Clint Eastwood voice] Now you have to ask yourself one question. "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya? Punks!
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Ipkiss! Police! Freeze!
- [the Mask freezes in mid-air]
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Put your hands up.
- The Mask: [his teeth are frozen together] But you told me to freeze!
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: All right, all right. Un-freeze.
- [the Mask un-freezes and falls to the ground]
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: You're under arrest.
- [pulls out his cuffs]
- The Mask: No! It wasn't me! It was the One-Armed Man!
- [regular voice]
- The Mask: All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad! GLAD, I TELL YA!
- [gets down on his knees and puts his hands up together]
- The Mask: What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?
- Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: [puts the cuffs on The Mask's wrists] Sorry, son. That's not my department. Search him.
- The Mask: [the cops bring The Mask to his feet] Ow! Where's a cam-corder when you need one?
- [snorts in laughter, Kellaway nods as if to say "touché"]
- The Mask: [a bomb has just exploded inside the Mask, leading to a fiery belch; Italian accent] That's a spicy meatball!
- Dorian Tyrell: Okay, Twinkle Toes. I want to know where my money is, and I want to know right now.
- The Mask: Okay.
- [sits on stool and takes out an adding machine]
- The Mask: You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year, 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the 9, divide by the Gross National Product... fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible.
- Dorian Tyrell: [to henchman] Ice this deadbeat!
- The Mask: [to Dorian, after defeating him] You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?
- Bobby the Bouncer: Uh, are you on the list?
- The Mask: Noooo. But I believe my friends are. Perhaps you know them.
- [He takes fistfuls of high denomination cash out of his pocket]
- The Mask: Franklin, Grant, and... Jackson?
- Mask: [about to attack the mechanics who cheated him earlier] Hold on to your lugnuts, it's tiiiiime for an overhaul!