Peter Berg credited as playing...
Mike Swale
- Bridget Gregory: Could you leave? Please?
- Mike Swale: I haven't finished charming you yet.
- Bridget Gregory: You haven't started.
- Mike Swale: Gimme a chance.
- Bridget Gregory: Look, go find yourself a nice little cowgirl and make nice little cowbabies and leave me alone.
- Mike Swale: I'm hung like a horse. Think about it.
- [pause]
- Bridget Gregory: Let's see.
- Mike Swale: Excuse me?
- Bridget Gregory: Mr. Ed, let's see.
- Mike Swale: Look, I tried to be nice. I can see that's something you're not...
- Bridget Gregory: No, I'm trying. I can be very nice when I try. Sit down.
- Mike Swale: OK, maybe we just got off to a bad start. I know plenty of people -
- [Bridget unzips his fly]
- Mike Swale: What are you doing?
- Bridget Gregory: I believe what we're looking for is a certain horse-like quality?
- Mike Swale: I'm trying to figure out whether you're a total fucking bitch or not.
- Bridget Gregory: I am a total fucking bitch.
- Bridget Gregory: You're my designated fuck.
- Mike Swale: Designated fuck? Do they make cards for that? What if I want to be more than your designated fuck?
- Bridget Gregory: Then I'll designate someone else.
- Clay Gregory: Ooohh, she must have worked up one hell of a morality play for you, but you don't like the way it ends.
- Mike Swale: What are you talkin' about?
- Clay Gregory: You're supposed to kill "Cahill", only it's me. Then, she fingers you for the murder.
- Mike Swale: I don't think so.
- Clay Gregory: Oh, she wouldn't lie to you... . denial. Okay. I'm still Cahill. Did she ever happen to mention she knows Cahill so well that he would have a picture of her in his apartment - that's a pretty major omission isn't it?
- Mike Swale: Will you SHUT UP? Shut up and let me think, just shut your mouth!
- Mike Swale: It's strange, none of the other secretaries seem to know who you are.
- Bridget Gregory: I'm not a secretary, you rural Neanderthal, I'm...
- Mike Swale: Director of lead generation, I'm just tryin' to get your attention.
- Bridget Gregory: ...That's good!
- Clay Gregory: [handcuffed] Wait a minute... oh fuck. You're into her, huh? That's logical, I guess there aren't many women fuck like her in God-town.
- [Mike kicks Clay hard]
- Mike Swale: Keep talkin'... keep talkin'!
- Clay Gregory: You're schizoid, talk to yourself.
- [Mike breaks into Clay's apartment and prods him awake]
- Mike Swale: ...I'm here to rob the place.
- Clay Gregory: I thought you were the new decorator.
- Mike Swale: [drunkenly calling Bridget's answering machine] You know I try, I really try to believe that you love me but you keep treating me like some kind of forage experiment. You talk about us living in New York... I mean really, come on how long until "Phhhtt.. where'd she go? Where'd she go"?
- Mike Swale: Grow up.
- Chris: What? Did you leave your dick in Buffalo?
- Mike Swale: Chris, these women are anchors.
- Chris: Here he goes again.
- Mike Swale: How many guys in this bar have felt her up?
- Chris: All of them.
- Mike Swale: Right. And how many have gone home with her, how many guys have slept with her?
- Chris: None, including yourself.
- Mike Swale: Right, I rest my case.
- Chris: Don't rest it too long, 'cause I promise you it will fall off.
- [after Bridget has dialed 911]
- Mike Swale: Is this what you want? Is *this* what you want? I'm gonna rape you, you wanna be raped? I'm gonna FUCKIN' rape you! BITCH!
- 911 Operator: Miss? Miss, I'm tracing your call right now.
- Mike Swale: Don't rape you, YOU LIKE IT? DON'T YOU WANNA BE RAPED?
- Bridget Gregory: HE KILLED MY HUSBAND!
- Mike Swale: You're GODDAMN right! You're goddamn right!
- Bridget Gregory: You killed my husband!
- Mike Swale: You're goddamn right I did. You're goddamn right I did.
- 911 Operator: Alright miss, I have located you and I have a car on the way.
- Bridget Gregory: I'm Trish.
- Mike Swale: Oh, you're Trish?
- [smacks Bridget across the face]
- Mike Swale: Fuck you. You FUCK. Fuckin' bitch. Fuck you. Is this what you want? Is this what you want? DO YOU LIKE IT?
- Mike Swale: You really her husband...?
- Clay Gregory: Who'd she say I was?
- Mike Swale: Foreclosure lawyer.
- Clay Gregory: And you believed that?
- Mike Swale: It says so on the mailbox.
- Clay Gregory: You're crazy.
- Mike Swale: It does, it says "Cahill" on the mailbox.
- Clay Gregory: Find one other thing in here that... . ooh, ooh.
- [scrambles to his feet]
- Clay Gregory: She's here. She's in New York.
- Bridget Gregory: [lying on bed next to lover] Mike... Tell me about your wife.
- Mike Swale: How'd you know?
- Bridget Gregory: [smiles] I didn't.
- Mike Swale: [scoffs] That's a good trick
- Bridget Gregory: [snickers] Tell me.
- [draws from cigarette]
- Mike Swale: Not much to tell, it happened when I lived in Buffalo.
- Bridget Gregory: One of those sudden horny things?
- [toys with her hair]
- Mike Swale: You could say that.
- Bridget Gregory: Her idea?
- Mike Swale: Mm-hmm.
- Bridget Gregory: Between fucking?
- Mike Swale: [smirks] Mm-hmm.
- Bridget Gregory: What's her name?
- Mike Swale: Trish.
- Bridget Gregory: Trish... short for?
- Mike Swale: Whatever.
- Bridget Gregory: Is she pretty?
- [he nods]
- Bridget Gregory: Are you still in love with her?
- Mike Swale: [shakes his head,] No
- [gets up]
- Mike Swale: No...
- Bridget Gregory: I thought you were the one who wanted to talk.
- Mike Swale: You want me to tell you about Trish?
- Bridget Gregory: Mm-hmm.
- Mike Swale: Trish was a mistake. Boy from Beston moves to Buffalo. Gets lonely. Meets girl. Screws up big-time.
- [shakes his head]
- Mike Swale: Nothin' to be ashamed of. I just wanted some more excitement, you know? I wanted more adventure. Until recently, all I wanted to do was get the hell out of this small town.
- Bridget Gregory: [as Mike walks towards the bathroom:] Until recently?
- Mike Swale: Thats what I said.
- [closes door]
- Bridget Gregory: [alone, repeats his words] "Until recently." What happened recently?
- [gets up, goes in after him]
- Bridget Gregory: What happened recently?
- [opens shower cubicle's door]
- Bridget Gregory: What happened, Mike?
- Mike Swale: Can I have a little privacy, please?
- Bridget Gregory: [closes door behind her, presses body up against him] Tell me what happened.
- Mike Swale: *You* happened, all right?
- Bridget Gregory: What's so special about me?
- Mike Swale: You've been out there. You came here and you chose me.
- Bridget Gregory: So?
- Mike Swale: So I was right. I'm bigger than this town.
- Bridget Gregory: So what's wrong?
- Mike Swale: You can't stop reminding me... that you're bigger than me.
- Mike Swale: [after realizing he has drunk-dialed] I can't let you hear this... I can't let you hear this.
- Shep: Did you divorce her?
- Mike Swale: I'll get around to it. I cannot spend the rest of my life here. I know what's gonna happen each and every day.
- Shep: [sighs] So, when do you leave?
- Mike Swale: [shakes his head] How long does it take to grow a new set of balls?