Guy Pearce: Adam • Felicia

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Adam • Felicia

Felicia: [singing] A desert holiday, let's pack the drag away. You take the lunch and tea, I'll take the ecstasy. Fuck off you silly queer, I'm getting out of here. A desert holiday, hip hip hip hip hooray!

Benji: [about his Dad] Does he have a boyfriend at the moment?
Felicia: No, no he doesn't.
Benji: Neither does Mum. She used to have a girlfriend, but she got over her.
Benji: [Benji pauses, then turns and looks at Felicia] You want to come play in my room? I've got Lego.

Felicia: [to Tick, when the Spencer's see all three and then take off] Oh, for goodness sakes, look at yourself, Mitz. How many times do I have to tell you? Green is not your color!
[laughs hysterically]

Felicia: Oh, for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix. Someone needs the wood.

Felicia: [to the video shop worker] Umm... , do you have "The Texas Chainsaw Mascara"?

Bernadette: We've only recently discovered that young Anthony here, bats for both teams.
Mitzi: I do not!
Felicia: Oh, so we're straight?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Oh, we're not. So we're a donut puncher, after all?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Then what the hell are we?
Mitzi: I don't fuckin' know.

Felicia: [to Tick] Do you think I'm going to let you walk away with all the attention? No chance, come on girls. Let's go shopping.

Felicia: [in sweet voice] Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through. And you never know, I might meet some lovely country girl.
[in tough voice]
Felicia: I hereby christen this budget Barbie camper... Priscilla. Queen of the Desert!
[smashes champagne bottle against bus]
Bernadette: That's gotta be the understatement of the century.

Felicia: I mean who is the fish that runs this bloody hotel in the middle of nowhere, anyway? Your mother?
Tick: No, my wife.
Felicia: Ooh, don't tell me you've got an ex-boyfriend tucked away out here somewhere.
Tick: No, my wife! I'm married.
[the bus brakes screech and glass shatters]
Tick: Oh, fuck!

Felicia: [to Tick and Bernadette] I met these Swedish tourists called... Lars, Lars and Lars.

Felicia: There goes the transsexual, last seen heading south. We called her Bernie, but her real name was...
Tick: Adam?

Bob: If you don't mind me asking, what kind of cabaret act do you do?
Felicia: We dress up in women's clothes and parade around mouthing the words to other people's songs.

Felicia: [to Tick and Bernadette] The only life I saw for the last million miles were the hypnotized bunnies. Most of them are now wedged in the tires.

Tick: Well, listen to this one. After we did the ABBA show, Kevin had one of those liposuction penis enlargements.
Felicia: He didn't?
Tick: Yep. Do you know what they do? They siphon all the fat out of your love handles, and actually inject it into your wing-wang.
Felicia: Ugh! Yucky! I suppose it gives a whole new meaning to "cracking a fat", though, doesn't it?
[laughs]

Mitzi: [as Felicia starts painting over the graffiti on their bus, which is stranded in the middle of nowhere] Purple?
Felicia: It's not *purple*, it's *lavender*. Whaddaya think?
Mitzi: It's nice... in a hideous sort of a way.
Mitzi: [to Bernadette, who has started walking off] Where are *you* going?
Bernadette: If you think I'm going to sit around watching Picasso take on the public transit system, you've got another thing coming. I'll be back with the cavalry in a couple of hours.