- Oscar: Have you ever truly idolized a woman? Nothing can be obscene in such love. Everything that occurs in between it becomes a sacrament.
- Oscar: Everyone has a sadistic streak, and nothing brings it out better than the knowledge you've got someone at your mercy.
- Oscar: She came to see me when I got out of Intensive Care. She said, there's bad news and there's good news. You're paralyzed from the waist down - permanently. OK, I said, let's have the good news. That was the good news, she said. The bad news is that from now on, I'm taking care of you.
- Oscar: We were developing a narcotic dependence on television - the marital aid that enables a couple to endure each other, without having to talk.
- Oscar: Nothing ever surpass the rapture of that first awakening. I might have been Adam with the taste of apple fresh in my mouth. I was looking at all the beauty in the world embodied in a single female form and I knew, with sudden blinding certainty, this was IT!
- Mr.Singh: Believe me dear lady, children are a better form of marital therapy than any trip to India.
- Oscar: What have you been doing In Möntenich ? Waiting tables?
- Mimi: Yes till the manager found out I could dance then he put me on the floor show.
- Oscar: Kind of him.
- Mimi: Yes he was very kind , he almost restored my faith in human nature.
- Oscar: Only almost ?
- Mimi: He did until I remembered you.
- Oscar: Touché.
- Oscar: [Mimi is eating croissants and drinking milk straight from the bottle] Do you have to drink it that way? Why can't you use a glass ?
- Mimi: Whats the difference it tastes the same ?
- Oscar: It doesn't look the same.
- Mimi: Ola la I didn't know you were so delicate.
- Oscar: What do you mean delicate ?
- Mimi: I mean delicate.
- Oscar: I know what you mean but it's just not the right word in English. If you don't know the right word in English say it in French.
- Mimi: I don't say it in French because your French isn't good enough.
- Oscar: It's better than your English.
- Mimi: After all these years in Paris so it should be. Maybe your English isn't that good enough either, maybe that's why no one wants to publish your books.
- Oscar: So now you are literary agent? That's great coming from a waitress.
- Mimi: I am not a waitress I am a dancer.
- Oscar: Dancer to hell! You would still be begging tips if I hadn't picked you up from that fucking restaurant.
- [Mimi stone faced throws the bottle of milk at Oscar and rushes out with Oscar in hot pursuit. He grabs her by the hair and slaps her hard and she falls to the floor]
- Mr.Singh: I was just wondering if you yourself have a family.
- Nigel: Uh, no, no, we haven't, actually, no.
- Fiona: No, Nigel thinks the world is overpopulated enough as it is without us adding to the problem.
- Mr.Singh: Oh Well, an admirable sentiment in India, perhaps, but surely the green fields of England can afford to have a few more mouths to feed.
- Partygoer: [saying cheers] Your good health. You notice that I do not say "happy New Year." To those whose gaze is focused on eternity, one year is the same as the next.
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