Night of the Sharks

I gave it a 2 instead of a 1 because I think "The Wild Women of Wongo" is worse. This is an exercise in patience. It's like having your teeth cleaned by a bad dental hygienist. There's no plot. There's no logic. There is certainly no acting (although the shark has some quality dialogue). We don't wonder about anything. We don't know how people got where they got. It's always amazing to me how things like this even get released. I agree with the previous writer that it isn't even funny bad. I know. It's about 90 minutes long and that will fill up about that much space on a DVD collection. It's like a paperweight. Or a bad painting you bought at a starving artists' sale. It covers the crack in the wall.

A couple of Mexican-based anglers are inadvertently caught up in a messy corporate extortion plot when Williams' brother scams two million in diamonds from a corrupt businessman (Steiner). Steiner deploys his right hand man to clean things up, and Williams' sultry ex-wife (Agren) tries to convince him to quit while he's ahead. Meanwhile, a deadly ocean predator nicknamed "The Cyclops" is stalking Williams, taking bites out of tourists and showing up whenever there's action in the water.

I've read the reviews and while I agree it's no Oscar contender, it's still not that bad in my opinion. Ramon Bravo's underwater tiger shark tussling and the subsequent attacks are reasonably well orchestrated and realistic.

The cast is solid including Swedish bombshell Agren, Italian beauty Soldano as Williams' current squeeze, Huggy Bear (Fargas) and former "Peyton Place" soap star Christopher Connelly in his last film before his untimely death (his trademark raspy voice is very feint, perhaps suggesting he was unwell). Throw in the ubiquitous Brit of Italo-slasher John Steiner, and you've got a well-appointed cast.

A general undercurrent humour doesn't really elevate the tone, but it at least doesn't take itself too seriously, and the momentum is reasonably brisk. So for your approximate one $$ investment you've got a B-grade Italian crime flick, including two goddesses, a certified Silver-standard international cast, AND a tiger shark tearing up the stragglers - me no complain.

NIGHT OF THE SHARKS begins with shots of a shark swimming languidly along, while David Ziegler (Treat Williams) and his friend Paco (Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargus) sun themselves on a nearby beach.

Oh no!

The shark wakes up and kills an unknown extra! David and Paco continue to relax. We discover that, in addition to sunbathing, David likes to yell at sharks.

Meanwhile, seemingly in some other movie, David's brother has absconded with something from "the mob". So, these two storylines intersect, which somehow makes this movie even less intriguing.

Unfortunately, there's just not enough shark action, especially considering the title. Mostly, this is about the brother's troubles being brought down on David and poor Paco, interrupting their relaxation to the nth degree. Fans of Mr. Williams and Huggy Bear will be ecstatic. Everyone else will probably need a cranial enema...

I wanted this movie to be a "so bad it's good" gem very much. The cover looked like a classic 80s cheese-fest that would fill me with much joy and laughter. The opening scene was promising. However, my initial expectations were eventually butchered and thrown into the water like fish bait.

The movie gave me little to no reason to invest in the characters. There's almost no backstory for anyone including the lead, David (Treat Williams). What little backstory you get isn't really explored or establishes solid character motivation. Even with the lack of character development, I was at least hoping for some charismatic acting or cheesy dialogue to keep me entertained. Unfortunately, there isn't much of it.

The soundtrack was laughably terrible. I'm sure they used the same track of suspense music for every "tense" moment in the movie whether it was a gun fight or a shark attack. It is super irritating after having heard it for the 100th time. It will forever be ingrained in my memory.

I wasn't expecting a stellar plot or anything but it was a complete mess. It's like the writer said, "I want to make Diamonds Are Forever," but the director said, "I want to make Jaws." So they compromised and combined them into one movie.

As bad as this movie was, there were a few moments that were enjoyable. Almost all of them involved the shark (or sharks? I'm not sure cause they seemed to use footage of multiple species like tigers, lemons, reefs and maybe bull sharks). The attacks were well shot and edited cutting between real and fake sharks. Not saying it was Jaws quality but decent enough for a movie like this.

In the end, there really isn't enough "so bad it's good" moments in this movie to recommend it. It's really boring for long stretches and the scenes with the shark are too few and far between to justify wasting 86 minutes of your life (it felt way longer than 86 minutes).

FUN FACT: Did you know tiger sharks can roar? I didn't until I watched this movie. Maybe a "nod" to a worse film, Jaws: The Revenge.

Night of the Sharks is an odd creature, based on it's name and cover you'd amost think *Drumroll* that it was a shark themed movie right? Wrong.

Instead we have a generic action film where a shark just happens to pop up a couple of times but is a side character and none of the plot has anything to do with it.

Starring the underappreciated Treat Williams and Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas this Italian made film has a lousy rating on IMDB and truth be told it doesn't even deserve that.

With a plodding pace that didn't keep my attention in the slightest Night of the Sharks is neither what its advertised to be nor in this guys opinion anything that resembles entertainment.

I'm not even addressing the plot in this review as it's so generic it hurts.

Give this movie seven shades of avoidance.

The Good:

Treat Williams & Antonio Fargas

The Bad:

The rest of the cast

No originality

Boring as hell

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Shark movies don't need to about sharks

People are willing to gamble losing a hand for $100