- Dr. Yang: Love... Love is a most complex emotion. Human beings unpredictable. No logic to emotions. Without logic, there is no rational thought. Without rational, thought there can be much romance, but much suffering.
- [Alice and Joe have taken Chinese herbs that make them invisible. A cab pulls up to the curb, the back door opens by itself, and they get out]
- Joe: Geez, nothing shocks these New York cab drivers!
- Alice: Here's the story. A woman who's never done a dishonest thing in her life, finds herself falling into a love affair with a musician.
- Nancy Brill: It's a little vague, Alice.
- Alice: Well. Really? You think?
- Nancy Brill: Look, be honest. What do you know about that kind of woman?
- Alice: Well, I...
- Nancy Brill: Who's the woman? Who's the man? Who's the poor husband? Where does it go? What makes it interesting? Is it lurid? Is it sexual? Perverse? Is she a whore? What's the matter? You look pale.
- [explaining to Alice why he wants to have an affair with her]
- Joe: There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
- Trainer: Ready to get off some cellulite?
- Alice: My back is just killing me. I don't know what I've done to it. I've had it x-rayed, I've been to my chiropractor, I had a shiatsu massage, I've been...
- Trainer: Have you tried acupuncture?
- Alice: I'm scared of needles. I don't know.
- Trainer: There's a Dr. Yang. He's supposed to be pretty good.
- Alice: I wonder if I had a Swede walk on it?
- Alice: One last thing. I remember the first time I heard Coltrane on soprano. Until then it had just been tenor, of course, but, it was such a moment, Joe. Opened a whole new world of harmonics for me.
- Alice: Is that where you where you met your wife? In commercials?
- Joe: Yeah, exactly. We were doing a spot for some detergent.
- Alice: Detergent.
- Joe: It was love at first sight. Christ, within half an hour we were making love in the ladies' room. Oh, excuse me.
- Alice: No, that's fine. You have a very charming way of telling things.
- Alice: This is a big step for me. I just feel - shouldn't it happen more gradually or something?
- Joe: Well, it hasn't exactly been rushed.
- Alice: Been rushed? Well, I don't know. It feels rushed. It feels rushed. I've been married now 15 years. I probably I'm just out of practice or something.
- Joe: It's not like juggling. You don't have to practise.
- Doug: Lou Gimbel's wife has been on him for working too. So, finally, he rented a store on Lexington Avenue and he's going to bankroll her and she's opening a boutique.
- Alice: Oh, really?
- Doug: Or, a sweater shop. But, I thought to myself, that's something. Possibly, on a part-time basis, you could help out. You have a nice personality and you know sweaters.
- Alice: It's just not really what I had in mind, you know.
- Alice: Sometimes I think I'm not raising my children with the right values. That I'm spoiling them. Not exposing them to the things that matter most. When I was young, I wanted to be a saint. I used to pray with my arms outstretched because it was more painful and I could feel closer to God. I wanted to spend my life helping people, taking care of the sick and the old people. I was never happier than when I got a chance to help out that way. What happened? Where did that part of me go?
- Professor: Dialogue in fiction has two functions. In the novel, to be read to oneself as voices in the mind. And in scripts and in plays, to be read out loud. So that what we're really talking about here is the two aspects of the consciousness of words. Internal and meditative in the novel and external and expressive in the drama and in film.
- Alice: But then when dad died you drank yourself to death with, with margaritas.
- Alice's Mother: I couldn't help it darling. You know I couldn't resist the taste of salt around the rim of a glass.
- [last lines]
- Woman 1: [voiceover] But - she - someone said she's a changed woman.
- Woman 2: Speaking of changed women, Gloria Phillips had face work.
- Woman 1: Oh, oh - ah, well, of course - she's having an affair with her astrologer, isn't she?
- Woman 2: Yes, but she's a changed woman, because you can't tell it's Gloria!
- School Teacher: If you want, we can go talk for a few minutes about a kindergarten that would give him the best chances of eventually getting into an Ivy League college.
- Alice: I'm the wife, you know. I take care of the kids, I host the dinner parties, arrange the social schedule, try to look pretty so your friends can admire your taste. I've become one of those women who shops all day and gets pedicures. But I wanna be more. There's more to me.
- Doug: I can't decide if I should get a new Lincoln or try the Cadillac again. What I'd really like is a Bentley. You know, a vintage Rolls or that old Phantom V. But with the kids, I'd never be able to relax.
- Nancy Brill: [discussing script ideas] Let me stop you. We want blood-and-guts stuff, not so subtle.
- Alice: Oh, well. I have another about a young girl who wanted to be a nun.
- Nancy Brill: No nuns. They want sexy, unscrupulous, rich, melodramatic, but no nuns. Listen, anything like that occurs to you, we'll talk. Give me a jingle and one of these weeks we'll go to Le Cirque.