Jerry Orbach credited as playing...
Detective Lennie Briscoe • Defense Attorney Frank Lehrman
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Even though you are a taxpayer, you know, we don't actually work for you personally.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: I specifically asked for him to be put on suicide watch. Apparently here at Riker's that mean that they watch you commit suicide.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Boy, I'd hate for somebody to trace me by what I read.
- Det. Rey Curtis: You read, Lennie?
- [a victim has died, apparently during S&M sex]
- Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: No defensive wounds.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: That's odd.
- Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: Yeah, the fun part for these guys is the struggle AFTER they've been tied up.
- [pause]
- Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: Or so I've heard.
- [handcuffing a suspect]
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: You've heard of the Seven Rings of Saturn? These are the Two Rings of Riker's.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: I told you, you should have gone to bed with her. You're getting the grief without getting the gravy.
- Lt. Anita Van Buren: I'd like it if you two became real partners.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: And I'd like it if my ex-wives got partners. No more alimony.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for - obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive or just being a general pain in the ass!
- [looking at a hospital sign that says "Pediatric Oncology"]
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Now there's two words that should never go together.
- Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: I got another body coming in. Guy took a javelin to the chest.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Why are you still in this line of work?
- Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: Free javelins.
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: You know, if I didn't already know you don't have kids, I'd know you don't have kids.
- Lt. Anita Van Buren: Do you believe him?
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: I believe on a good day he couldn't hit his ass with both hands.
- [the driver of a Jaguar has been shot; a carjacking is suspected]
- Det. Ed Green: Just give up the car! Man, when are people gonna realize it isn't worth your life?
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Spoken like somebody who's never owned a Jag.
- Lt. Anita Van Buren: If he's not Fallon, who the hell is he?
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Well the FBI says he's not in the witness protection program but they mighta had their fingers crossed.