User reviews

After an encounter with a neck-biter, a publishing executive (Nicolas Cage) thinks that he is turning into a vampire.

Okay, looking back from 2015, Nicolas Cage has had one of the most unusual careers in Hollywood. We know he can be a great actor, because we have seen "Adaptation", "Leaving Las Vegas" and others where he just stunned audiences with his portrayals. But we also know he has a habit of picking duds, and at this point he probably has more stinkers than winners.

And then there is "Vampire's Kiss", which is a bizarre blend of horror and comedy. It is never quite horror and never quite comedy, sort of existed in this world of nothing... and that just makes it more interesting. That weird accent (somewhere between rich guy and surfer dude). Wow.

In 1988, Robert Bierman made a film, written by Joseph Minion, which would eventually see a new light in the internet era. The film has been used to make a number of memes, most of them obsolete at this point, but the film itself is funnier, crazier, and more entertaining than any number of recontextualized image templates. The film is Vampire's Kiss, starring a young Nicholas Cage who acts with such insane, impassioned, ludicrous bravado that he steals the spotlight in every scene he's in...which is nearly all of them. Nicholas Cage is well known for his deranged acting style, especially in his younger years, but Vampire's Kiss is his masterwork.

The film follows Cage as Peter Loew, a publishing executive who is bitten by a vampire. Slowly, really slowly, he's transformed into a vampire himself, and his mental acuity drastically deteriorates into hopeless, hilarious paranoia. Concurrently, Loew mentally abuses his secretary Alva, giving her the unfortunate task of finding a contract deeply buried in the file graveyard of his office.

Vampire's Kiss was ripped apart when first released, though it's not quite as bad as the reviews would have you believe. Even disregarding Cage's performance, for a moment, the film is an odd duck, tonally messy and mostly purposeless, with low stakes and little energy. Still, the sheer oddity of its premise and the bizarre juxtaposition between publishing drama and monster mash (side note: I just realized how eerily similar this film is to 1994's Wolf) is enough to sustain moderate, temporary interest. It would have been a rather limp, lifeless film, it wasn't for one of the greatest screen performances ever recorded.

Nicholas Cage is phenomenal in Vampire's Kiss. He is consistently, breathtakingly, shrewdly hilarious, and the best part is it's impossible to figure out if the film was ever supposed to be a comedy. The film itself is already atonal, not really a light, airy comedy but not really a contemplative or tense creature flick either. Vampire's Kiss doesn't know what it wants to be, but Cage knows exactly what he wants to be, which is an obnoxious, crazy-eyed, explosive, irrationally chaotic jerk, sporting an impossibly artificial accent through the entirety of the film. He is the sole focus of the camera in every scene he's in, both before and after the bite.

The greatest quality of the performance is Cage's spontaneity and conviction. He's not constantly full-throttle crazy; he's measured, even reserved at times, playing up the calm before the storm in order to seamlessly accentuate his random bursts of looniness. Peter's own mental degradation sometimes helps too. The character is inherently delirious, paranoid and hopeless in equal measure. Cage amplifies these emotions, making what Peter feels at any given point perfectly clear.

When he needs to cry, Cage doesn't actually cry; he shrilly proclaims "boo hoo! Boo hoo!" out to the world. When Peter first believes he's a vampire, Cage doesn't whisper the exclamation to passersby on the street or mumble to himself - he runs through the street shouting ad nauseum to the entire block. Again, the film doesn't seem designed to be a comedy - Cage's mannerisms are totally at odds with the mostly just bland atmosphere and dramatic events around him. It's baffling to watch one performer singlehandedly (singlehandedly) transform the film he's in. It's astounding.

Everyone else plays it straight. Elizabeth Ashley as Peter's psychiatrist, Jennifer Beals as the vampire, and Maria Conchita Alonso as Alva the secretary are all properly attuned to the film's wavelength. They're convincing and demonstrate the desired qualities. Ashley is professional, Beals is seductive and a bit campy, and Alonso is vulnerable and legitimately sympathetic. Every other element is the same; the cinematography, soundtrack, and editing all suggest a film of reasonable dignity, and the direction is simple and direct. Even the script is serviceable, if nothing special. Vampire's Kiss would be a decent to decently boring/bland film without Cage. With him, it's an engaging, surprising laugh riot, which only patters out near the end, in an extendedly dull sequence.

Vampire's Kiss is worth a watch. It's truly remarkable to witness the power one performance can have on a film, and it's difficult to think of a more quintessential example of this principle than Cage's presence in this film. To see an unremarkable, atonal, and rather bland film be transformed into a truly memorable, often hilarious one, is an experience worth sharing with a few friends. Vampire's Kiss is prime "bad/weird movie night" material, nearly comparable to The Room and Japanese horror gem House. If any of your friends love strange films, hammy performances, weird bugged-eyed hijinks, enraged alphabet recitations, or Nicholas Cage, check out Vampire's Kiss today.

There has never quite been a film like Vampire's Kiss, and there has not even been an imitator since. It is an absurd, hilarious semi- spoof of all things horror, whilst also being a surreal and powerful delve into the damaged psych of horrid human being. I honestly feel I need to break this down in pieces.

The elephant in the room is Nick Cage. His performance is excellent, but takes getting used to. He is hilariously over the top, moving like Max Schrek on Caffine pills. He talks in a petulant and whiny 'vaguely British' voice, also leading to some really goofy line readings. However despite this camp factor, there is depth here. Cage is also believable here, he stays perfectly true to the character throughout and forms a unique identity that can only be found here. It reminds me of Christian Bale in 'American Psycho', which is fitting as Bale based his performance off this film. One aspect I will bring up often here is thee film's re-watch value, suffice to say that Cage's performance changes and shifts upon numerous viewings.

Next is the direction. It showcases some great shots of New York, almost making it feel alive. The cinematography highlights the striking architecture and uneven lighting of the city, almost showing it to be a real life translation of classic horror settings. However it also shows the clinical detachment of such a large city, and the Yuppie culture that has grown from it. The other performances match this films dual nature also, taking classic horror roles at times, and being typical Yuppie's at others.

Night and Day, Gothic and Modern, Deep and Funny, Dark and Light. This film performs an entirely unique juggling act that has never been matched since. Both a homage to classic horror tales, and a deconstruction of the 80's Yuppie lifestyle.

Okay, so Nicolas Cage eats a real cockroach. So the majority of the people who've seen this film don't understand the plotline. So black comedy is new to a late eighties audience. These points are minimal considering the great lengths to which the filmmakers go to to reveal the downfall of a hideous relationship between two people. A relationship gone so wrong that the male has to commit himself to therapy and conversely...murder.

Imagine a relationship wherein the woman was so soul sucking, so evil in her ways that you now feel as if she has sucked you dry - literally and figuratively - you are left as nothing but (in this case) a shell of a man - a walking corpse, yearning for the life's blood that she has stolen from you through your very own veins!

Cage gives the performance of his career and should have received an Oscar as the twisted, quintessential jilted lover who now desperately tries to recapture the joy of his most passionate and influential relationship by revisiting the empty, vampiretic bar hopping lifestyle where he found her - working his way through subsequent women, then just as unsatisfactorily moving his way through rape, suicidal tendencies and ultimately, murder.

It's tone is unforgiving alternating comedy and tragedy, confusing us as to whether he is really a vampire or just thinks he is. By flipping from his therapeutic sessions to his bitter and pathetic reality we see just how badly his male ego has taken rejection.

Here is a film where the simple plotline of a man being bitten by a vampire and believing he has become one becomes one where we see a man disintegrating before us, sliding into madness because he is forced to face his empty life.

His obsessive attention to detail, penchant for house bugs, absence of reflection in the mirror and avoidance of sunlight all match the prerequisites for vampirism, but his clumsy attempts at finding another woman and to fill the void that is left by a woman put so far onto a pedestal he cannot reach are overshadowed.

This is not a film for the feint of heart but for anyone who has ever been screwed over by a woman they have loved (or imagined they did) this is a welcome little cult revelation that makes them laugh and brood at the same time.

Nicholas Cage is a terrific actor, and I have enjoyed his work in all the movies I've seen him in. That said, he does an outstanding job holding one's attention throughout this movie.

Nonetheless, this isn't a great movie. It goes in a few too many directions for it to remain coherent. It offends too many senses for it to be a good a comedy, and provides too few scares as a horror film.

One highlight, as others have mentioned, is with the fake vampire teeth. But the best part to that bit was the fact that he had to settle for the CHEAP teeth, because he didn't have $20 for the good ones! That really made me laugh!

My rating: 6

A man decends into madness. His madness distorts his reality to where he believes he is becoming a vampire. Not a vampire movie. Not really a dark comedy either. Cage did a great job but his accent was really bad. I felt at times his character was really cruel and there was no dark fun side to laugh at.

However, I gave it high marks because it was different and put a new twist on the whole madness thing. The acting (except for the accent) was good. My wife hated this one.

Nicolas Cage is an interesting actor, but this is not one of his finest moments, or rather, he's the only interesting aspect of an otherwise forgettable movie--interesting because his performance is so over-the-top. The film is neither "stylish," nor "erotic," nor funny (well, the fake teeth scene is funny for a while). The plot is ludicrous and disjointed and the film can't seem to decide it it wants to be comedy, horror, or drama. This isn't a conventional vampire film in any sense of the word, aside from the silly bat at the beginning of the movie and Jennifer Beals as a "real" vampire (the character Rachel). Since Cage's character is in therapy and obviously quite disturbed, one of the underlying plot threads is that his behavior is really the result of a paranoid mind--that is, he is not, nor has he ever been, a vampire. Oh well. Fortunately Cage went on to make some interesting films with better direction and comprehensible plots.

Even though I do like vampire films as a genre, this was one of the worst I've seen.

Cage was amazingly creepy and funny in this movie. Some iconic moments in this movie. The plot twist at the end was great.

I still can't believe Nicolas Cage believes this to be one of his best films. This would normally be the type of movie an actor would cross off his resume. Cage doesn't do many DVD commentaries, yet he chose to do one for this obscure dark comedy. His commentary with the director was definitely amusing, and made the film more fun to watch, but I'm here to rate the movie and not the commentary. The movie is totally confusing, as it keep jumping back and forth from one reality to another. Finally, I understood that it was about Cage going insane and thinking he's a vampire. Confusing or not, "Vampire's Kiss" is painful to watch. It contains almost no plot, and it's no more than a one-man show for Nick Cage, who gives an outrageously hammy performance. And yes, I'm saying that as a huge Nick Cage fan. Sure, he has a reputation for being over-the-top, but usually it makes sense within his character and rarely does he get to the point where he's a live-action cartoon character. In this case, he's a total cartoon, mugging at any possible opportunity and donning an annoying accent (kind of like his dumb accent in "Peggy Sue Got Married"). Jennifer Beals is wasted in a small, degrading role. And Kasi Lemmons really should stick to directing. A must-miss!

After reading so many comments who put this film down, I just had to write something to its defence. True: the film is confusing in many ways; you get confused what is real and what is not for example. But some of the hilarious scenes in this movie is more than worth it. In one of his most remarkable, over-the-top performances, Nicolas Cage transforms from an up-tight snob to a complete lunatic. This is one of the most original and unconventional movies I have ever seen. Those of you who want predictable Hollywood movies should steer away; for the rest of you this can be an enjoyable experience!

Undead (in the sense of lifeless but still in motion) is the perfect word to describe this lame-brained would-be comedy, memorable only for the out-of-control, over-the-top emoting by Nicholas Cage as an upscale New York City literary agent who imagines himself becoming a creature of the night after some rough sex with Jennifer Beals. Seventy-five minutes later, after throwing several tantrums, brutally raping his secretary, and killing another girl in a misfired attempt to drink her blood, it's finally suggested that his vampire fixation is just a paranoid, misogynist fantasy, and Beals was only another heartless bitch with a taste for S&M. Writer Joseph Minion has an obvious chip on his shoulder, and director Robert Bierman never manages to locate the right tone, allowing his star to indulge himself in a performance of almost compelling badness. What Cage does here can hardly be called acting: he's merely killing time (and with good reason), stumbling headlong through each scene like a narcoleptic bull in a cheap china shop.

I wouldn't go so far as to say this movie is nothing without Nicolas Cage, but I would say his performance makes the movie. The internet makes fun of Cage's overacting and unhinged personality, but in this movie I think it really works. Cage plays a guy who's already a bit off the wall, and a vampire chick bites him which leads to uncontrollable bouts of crazier and crazier behavior. The way she chameleons herself, the way Cage responds, it works with the metaphors it implies such as cycles of abuse and hollow relationships. Cage's increasing desperation unironically works emotionally, and you feel sorry for the guy. His performance carries the whole movie. I don't think this film would be fondly remembered if there was a different actor in the leading role, since everything else about the presentation is pretty forgettable. While nothing about it is outright bad, Nick Cage is the only truly standout part to me.

What do we have here then? A vampire film is it? NO! Well, not really anyway. Vampire's Kiss stars Nicolas Cage as a publishing executive who believes that he is turning into a vampire. What makes the film is Cage's incredibly camp, over the top, performance. A pre-Jim Carrey Jim Carrey role that he really grabs by the horns. We follow his character Peter Loew, as he obsesses about a vampire biting him, and proceeds to destroy his attempts at a relationship and terrorise (for seemingly no other reason than fun) his secretary. Whether you like this film or not depends on how dark you like your humour, and if you get the joke. There are too many great moments to point out, this is a great film to watch, with a "what is this crazy guy going to do next?" thing going on, all resulting in something very funny.

This is one of those movies that should have been 'so bad it's good', but its use of needless sexual violence and anti-female agenda was so disgusting that it failed in that. Nicolas Cage's overracting could have been beautiful and utterly ridiculous until the point where he reveals he raped his secretary for no apparent reason and was therefore trying to kill himself. This is not redemption, this was over the top and unnecessary. 0/10, would never recommend.

This movie is NOT about vampires; there isn't a single vampire in it. Instead, it is about a man (played by Cage) who loses his mind and begins to think he is a vampire after an unsatisfying series of one-night stands that make him feel empty. It's a metaphor about relationships, and this is one fantastic black comedy. Check it out and thank me later.

By the end of this film, you realise that the only way it possibly makes sense as a script is if it's supposed to be a horror in the classic sebse about a man's psychological breakdown and wilful self destruction. On the way, the comedic moments that seem like cheap gags suddenly seem like very black comedy.

But that doesn't make it a good film. For this kind of psychological study to be anything other than cheap voyeurism for the audience, you have to establish the situation that is the starting point for the descent and what the triggers are. It felt like there was no effective exposition of why he might be heading on this downhill trajectory. Sure, he was seeing a shrink but doesn't everyone?

Ultimately it's a film with an original concept, but incomplete and messy in its execution.

Nicholas Cage is a publishing executive who is supposedly allegedly bitten by a vampire bat, after which he starts behaving erratically, such as sleeping in a makeshift coffin-made from a living room sofa, and being a real a****** to his secretary. Billed as a horror/comedy, it can't seem to make up its mind what it is and fails as a horror or a comedy. After seeing this one for the first (and last) time I felt like putting on any of the Universal Classic Horrors, such as HOUSE OF DRACULA in order to fumigate my mind from this wretched viewing experience.

Rating: 0 stars out of *****

This is one of those movies you have to watch to the end to truly appreciate. It's a mess -- but it goes places you can't imagine despite the workmanlike screenwriting and the slow pace of the beginning. It's worth it. Charlie Kaufman could have written it, it's so bizarre and beyond the norm for the silly Hollywood movie it's disguised as. I don't want to analyze it as some metaphor for a relationship with a blood-sucking bitch as others have or argue what's real and what's not. I watched it expecting some anemic late 80's comedy and with that expectation, I found myself bolting upright in my chair in surprise at what it delivered. One of Nic Cage's best early performances, ranks with Raising Arizona and Valley Girl, except he's never sympathetic -- ever. In that sense, I understand what people mean when they say it's a monster movie.

This is an odd film. It's hard to imagine the first run reactions from filmgoers upon it's first release. Well, it's not too hard. The film tanked. That said, it probably plays better now, with whatever then-current thesis about yuppie capitalism taking a backseat to Nic Cage's manic over the top performance. Wealthy NY executive Peter Loew meets a new flame, and his life changes in unexpected ways. While the support all do excellent work, this is largely a one man show. Cage goes all out into histrionics and prefaces the Jim Carrey school of acting we'd see in the next decade. It's not a great film, but it's darn entertaining. You won't be able to look away. Part comedy, part horror, part what-the-heck, this mixed bag is sharply written and executed, and fans of oddball and 80s cinema should check it out.