Tom Hanks credited as playing...
Josh
- Josh: Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. Gosh.
- Billy: Who the fuck do you think you are ?
- Josh: *Hey*!
- Billy: You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in *my* basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
- Josh: You don't get it, do you? This is important!
- Billy: I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?
- [Turns to leave]
- Billy: And I'm three months older than you are, *asshole*!
- Personnel Director: Where did you go to school?
- Josh: It was called George Washington.
- Personnel Director: Oh G.W. My brother-in-law got his doctorate there. Did you pledge?
- Josh: Yes. Every morning.
- Scotty Brennen: See that girl over there in the red? Say "hi" to her and she's yours. She'll have her legs around you so tight you'll be begging for mercy.
- Josh: Well, I'll stay away from her, then.
- Mrs. Baskin: You have my son?
- Josh: [Over the phone] Yes.
- Mrs. Baskin: Look, if you touch one hair on his head, I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you suffer.
- Josh: Wow, thanks.
- Josh: My best sport is video hockey.
- Paul: That isn't a sport.
- Josh: Well, It takes eye-to-hand coordination.
- Paul: It's not a sport if you don't sweat.
- Josh: Well, what about golf? You don't sweat and that's a sport.
- Paul: It's not a sport if you let a machine do all the work.
- Josh: What about car racing?
- Paul: Aw, shut up, Baskin!
- Josh: What's this?
- Scotty Brennen: Pay day.
- Josh: [Opens up the envelope and looks at his check] *A hundred and eighty seven dollars*?
- Scotty Brennen: Yeah. They really screw you don't they?
- Bank Teller: [cashing Josh's first paycheck] Okay, so how would you like that?
- Josh: [he and Billy discuss it privately, then return to the window] Three dimes, a hundred dollar bill and 87 ones.
- Bank Teller: [pause] Okay...
- [takes out stack of $1 bills]
- Bank Teller: One, two, three, four...
- Josh: [inputting toy orders] The Dinky Link... Jimmy's Toy Box...
- Scotty Brennen: [in the next cubicle] Psst, hey, I'm Scott Brennan.
- Josh: I'm Josh Baskin.
- Scotty Brennen: Listen, what're you tryin' to do, get us all fired? You gotta pace yourself, slowly, slowly.
- Josh: It's my first day.
- Scotty Brennen: I know!
- Josh: [playing racketball] That was under the line.
- Paul: What?
- Josh: That was under the line. You said it had to be over the line on a serve.
- Paul: No, I didn't.
- Josh: Yeah you did. You said it had to be over the line on a serve.
- Paul: No I did not, now give me the goddamn ball!
- Josh: Well that's cheating.
- Paul: Give me the goddamn ball, will you?
- Josh: No.
- Paul: Give me the ball, you little shit.
- Josh: It's my serve.
- Paul: Give me the ball! *Give me the goddamn ball*! I never said that!
- Josh: Yes you did.
- Paul: Give me the...
- [Josh starts to run, Paul gives chase]
- Paul: Give me the... Give me the ball. Give me the ball!
- Josh: Well, there's a million robots that turn into something. And this is a building that turns into a robot. So what's so fun about playing with a building? That's not any fun!
- Josh: No. Mom, listen please, it's me, Josh. I made a wish on this machine and it turned me into a grown up.
- Susan: [finding Josh by the Zoltar machine] Josh?
- Josh: Susan.
- Susan: You know, you don't walk out on somebody. You don't just get up and leave and... and... and walk out like that. You don't do that.
- Josh: I know. I know. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.
- Susan: [a card pops out of the machine, Susans reads it, and she is upset to be convinced] Oh, God. You got your wish.
- Josh: I tried to tell you.
- Susan: I didn't listen. I guess I didn't hear you, or... or want to, or...
- Josh: I tried to tell you last night.
- Susan: How would I have... Even if I did listen, how would I know?
- Josh: I've been thinking about this.
- Susan: Why would I know that?
- Josh: I've been trying... I've been thinking about it, and there's a million reasons for me to go home... but there's only one reason for me to stay.
- Susan: What... What reason is that?
- Josh: Well, you.