Jim Jackman credited as playing...
Major Asshole
- Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
- Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
- Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
- Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
- Dark Helmet: Who is he?
- Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
- Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
- Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
- Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
- Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
- Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
- [Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
- Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
- Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
- [Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
- Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!