John Pankow credited as playing...
Fred Melrose
- Vera Prescott: Why haven't I met you before?
- Fred Melrose: Maybe you ain't been hangin' out in the mailroom.
- Vera Prescott: Oooh, the "male room." I like that sound!
- Brantley Foster: [reading mail while sorting] Some of this stuff doesn't make any sense. They send requisitions through two departments to get procurements for a third. What kind of thinking is that?
- Fred Melrose: That's suit thinking. Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. Cuts off all the oxygen to his brain.
- Fred Melrose: Hey, you look like death on a cracker, man. What happened to you?
- Brantley Foster: Well, I was chased by a 200 pound dog with a mouth as big as my head. And that was the best thing that happened last night.
- Fred Melrose: What was the worst thing?
- Brantley Foster: Got laid.
- Fred Melrose: Not sure you got your priorities straight, Brantley.
- Brantley Foster: Whoa, whoa, listen, I'm going to need your help, both of you.
- Fred Melrose: Is it something I could get fired for?
- Brantley Foster: Absolutely.
- Fred Melrose: I like it!
- Fred Melrose: Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. It cuts off all the circulation to his brain.
- [Brantley said "good morning" to an executive]
- Fred Melrose: Not the suits, man! You never consort with the suits unless they consort with you first.
- Brantley Foster: Wait a minute, that's ridiculous! He's a person, I'm a person. I can't say hello to him?
- Fred Melrose: He's not a person, he's a suit! You're mailroom. No consorting.
- [Brantley is carrying a briefcase into the mailroom]
- Fred Melrose: What's in there?
- Brantley Foster: My lunch.
- Fred Melrose: Your lunch? In a briefcase?
- Brantley Foster: Yeah. I ran out of brown bags.