Corey Feldman credited as playing...
Edgar Frog
- Alan Frog: We don't ride with vampires.
- Sam Emerson: Fine, stay here.
- Edgar Frog: [Looks around, clearly scared] We do now.
- Alan Frog: Yeah.
- Max: It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy. Just like one big, happy family. Your boys... and my boys.
- Edgar Frog: Great! The Bloodsucking Brady Bunch!
- Alan Frog: [after Laddie vamps out] Holy smoke! It's the attack of Eddie Munster!
- Edgar Frog: Get him! Kill him now!
- [the Frog Brothers and Sam chase after Laddie, but Star, who was hiding in the closet, stops them]
- Star: [shields Laddie] Stop! Get away from him! You just stay away from him!
- Alan Frog: Have you gone crazy?
- Edgar Frog: He's a vampire, and that makes him even more dangerous!
- Star: [still shielding Laddie] HE'S NOT A VAMPIRE, DAMMIT! He's just a little boy.
- Edgar Frog: I think I should warn you all, when a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
- Max: Let this be a lesson to you, you silly little boy: Never ever invite a vampire into your house. And why? Because it renders you powerless.
- Sam Emerson: Did you know that?
- Edgar Frog: Of course. Everyone knows that. Why else would we be here?
- Edgar Frog: [the Frog Brothers walk in the room, carrying loads of stakes. To Sam] Okay, where's Count Dracula?
- Sam Emerson: Who?
- Edgar Frog: The prince of darkness.
- Alan Frog: The night crawler. The bloodsucker.
- Edgar Frog: El Vampiro.
- Sam Emerson: Mike! They're here!
- Edgar Frog: Listen, just so you know, if you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it!
- Sam Emerson: Chill out, Edgar.
- Edgar Frog: [coming to his senses] Right.
- Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
- Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
- Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
- Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
- Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
- Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.
- Alan Frog: He's a vampire all right.
- Edgar Frog: All right, here's what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
- Sam Emerson: I can't do that; he's my brother.
- Alan Frog: OK, we'll come over and do it for you.
- Sam Emerson: No!
- Edgar Frog: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.
- Edgar Frog: Listen, buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar, it went out of business last summer.
- Sam Emerson: Actually, I'm looking for a "Batman" issue #14.
- Edgar Frog: That's a very serious book, man.
- Alan Frog: Only five in existence.
- Sam Emerson: Four, actually. I'm always looking out for the other three.
- Paul: Ha, ha! You're mine! You killed Marko!
- Edgar Frog: Yeah, and you're next!
- Paul: No, you're next!
- [sees garlic in the bathtub and knows what Edgar and Alan are thinking]
- Paul: Ha, ha! Garlic don't work, boys!
- Edgar Frog: TRY HOLY WATER, DEATH BREATH!
- [sprays Paul with water pistol, his skin burns from holy water and screams in agony]
- Sam Emerson: And then his dog started chasing my mom like the hounds of hell in "Vampires Everywhere."
- Edgar Frog: We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time.
- Alan Frog: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.
- Edgar Frog: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall.
- Alan Frog: Kill your brother, you'll feel better.
- Alan Frog: We blew it, man, we lost it!
- Edgar Frog: Shut up!
- Alan Frog: We unraveled in the face of the enemy!
- Edgar Frog: It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us! They opened their eyes and talked!
- Sam Emerson: Got a problem, guys?
- Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
- Sam Emerson: Pretty cool, huh?
- Alan Frog: For a fashion victim.
- Alan Frog: Aaaaaah! Flies!
- Edgar Frog: We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on.
- Alan Frog: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
- Sam Emerson: No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian.
- Edgar Frog: Or a vampire.
- Sam Emerson: You guys sniffing on newsprint or something?
- Edgar Frog: You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know a lot, buddy.
- Alan Frog: Yeah. You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh?
- Sam Emerson: Actually, I thought it was a bakery.
- Edgar Frog: This is just our cover; we're dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters in a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way.
- Michael Emerson: [the Frog Brothers are talking about killing Star] Don't you touch her!
- Edgar Frog: [to Alan] Come on. Vampires have such a rotten temper.