- Murphy: My friends have overlooked my shortcomings, seen me through some dark days, and brightened up the rest of them. I'm glad to have them; I'm honored to have them; I'm lucky to have them.
- Murphy: You are a miserable little son of a bitch, you know that? I don't know why she took you in the house... I'd bed you down with the dogs! And I'll tell you something else, mister, you may be a lot younger and stronger, but you're about to get your ass kicked from here to the state line... and I'm wearin' the boots that can do it!
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: You're a feisty old booger, aren't ya.
- Murphy: I thought we just settled that!
- Murphy: You want advice? Write Dear Abby. You got problems? Take it your local minister. Your head isn't on straight? The mental health clinic is in the phonebook. I'm not a life guard. I don't put up bail and I'm not your Dutch uncle.
- [Murphy cradles her face in his hands and plants a long passionate kiss]
- Murphy: Now, if you don't know how things are, you're not as smart as I thought you were.
- Emma: [after being turned down for a loan by the bank] I'd go out on the streets, but you've only got one.
- Emma: [to Jake, after telling him she's going to ask Bobby Jack to leave] You sure have had a short childhood.
- Murphy: I'm a widower. That's like catnip to a cat, in a town where the ladies outnumber you ten to one.
- [first lines]
- Murphy: [to Emma, who's about to put a flyer on his windshield] Lady, you're covering up my causes.
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: I just ain't had enough good times yet.
- Emma: Well, the party's over, my friend. Someone just handed you the check.
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: I think you're banging Emma?
- Murphy: Banging? That's an ugly expression for that particular pleasure.
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: How about fucking?
- Murphy: I don't like that one a whole alot better! And, if I was, it would be none of your concern.
- Auctioneer: Sold to that gentleman sitting on the flatbed truck and I'll tell you something boys, he stole 'im while you were scratching your head or whatever else you got that itches.
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: I'm a born again Christian!
- Emma: Well, I sure hope they don't pass you the collection plate.
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