Arye Gross credited as playing...
Willie
- [the English teacher questions Willie and Phil about not doing their homework]
- English Teacher: Willie, will you give us a synopsis of 'Catcher in the Rye'?
- Willie: [Willie first speaks in his alien language] 'Catcher in the Rye', a novel written by the Earthling Salinger that every adolescent Homo Sapien in America is forced to read.
- English Teacher: You didn't read it, did you?
- Willie: Our mission on your planet is to study human behavioral patterns.
- Phil: Last night, we simulated a daily teenage ritual, homework avoidance. We consumed large quantities of fermented hops and were transformed into degenerate party animal head bangers.
- [Willie laughs in his alien language]
- [Phil in the cafeteria talks to Willie about finding a weird life form with his imaginary meter]
- Phil: [Phil makes the sound of the meter] I'm picking up curious life readings.
- Willie: Is it human?
- Phil: Unknown. It seems to be some sort of carbon-based douchebag.
- [Phil holds the meter up with it alarming through his voice, as he sees that it's Greg Tolan]
- [the English teacher gives Willie and Phil a hard time about not reading Catcher in the Rye]
- English Teacher: I don't care what planet you two are from, you've been pulling this routine for three years. You'll be here another year if you don't straighten out. I want that homework now!
- Willie: The Earth woman seems so tense. Irritable. Too much coffee.
- Phil: Not enough sex.
- [as the two continue to talk in their alien language]