- Mikey: Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
- Francis Fratelli: [grabs Chunk by the throat] Hey, kid. I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything.
- Chunk: Everything?
- Francis Fratelli: Everything.
- Chunk: [sobbing] Everything. OK, I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I play Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... and then, my mom sent me to the... to the summer camp for fat kids... and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!
- [much later]
- Chunk: But, the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this.
- [imitating vomiting four times]
- Chunk: And then, I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life!
- Jake Fratelli: [amused] I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!
- Mama Fratelli: [tired of Chunk's stalling] Hit puree!
- [Francis turns on the puree blender]
- Chunk: No! I'm too young!
- [the Fratellis grabs his arms]
- Chunk: No, I want to play the violin! No, not my hand! Please!
- Mama Fratelli: Now, do I get the truth? Do I get the truth, or do you get juiced?
- [Mouth is "translating" Mrs. Walsh's instructions for Rosalita]
- Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the second. Just... just throw them all into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you translate all that?
- Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh.
- Mouth: [in Spanish] The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.
- [Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone]
- Chunk: [saves the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol' Chunk.
- [Chunk places the statue on the table, but it falls off]
- Brandon Walsh: You idiot!
- Mikey: Oh, my god!
- [Mikey runs over to pick up the statue and hold the breathalizer in his mouth]
- Chunk: [examines the statue] Look, look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
- Mikey: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh, my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
- [Mikey tries to put the penis back on]
- Chunk: Oh, my god.
- Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
- Mikey: Shut up, Mouth!
- Brandon Walsh: Shut up, Mouth.
- Irene Walsh: Now, Rosalita, this is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anybody up here, ever. I guess that's why it's always open.
- Mouth: [in Spanish] Translation - never go up there. It's filled with Mr. Walsh's *sexual torture devices*.
- Irene Walsh: [to Rosalita] This is my supply closet. You'll find everything you need - brooms, dust pans, insect spray... I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clark, can you translate?
- Mouth: ["translating" to Rosalita] If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.
- Irene Walsh: [to Rosalita] Okay Rosie? Okay? You're gonna be very happy here.
- [to Mouth]
- Irene Walsh: Come on Clark, we've got much more to do. You are so fluent in Spanish.
- Chunk: Look, how's that? How's that?
- Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
- Brandon Walsh: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
- Chunk: Looks fine to me.
- Stef: Brand, God put that rock there for a purpose... and, um... I'm not so sure you should, um... move it...
- Andy: Brand... What happened to your braces?
- Brandon Walsh: Braces? I don't wear braces, Mikey wears bra... Mikey! That little...
- Andy: Shhh!
- [Andy kisses Brand again]
- Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
- Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
- Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
- Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
- Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
- Richard 'Data' Wang: Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes!
- Mikey, Mouth: [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY?
- Andy: DATA!
- Francis Fratelli: [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE!
- Jake Fratelli: I'm not pushing Francis now hurry up!
- [Francis slips and falls on his crotch]
- Mama Fratelli: Francis sweetheart are you okay?
- Francis Fratelli: [High pitched voice] NOOOOOOO!
- Brandon Walsh: [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
- Mouth: No pen. No write. No sign!
- Mikey: No, Dad. Don't sign it!
- [Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
- Mikey: Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
- Irving Walsh: [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.
- [cheering]
- [the Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well]
- Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
- Data: Why?
- Mikey: Why?
- Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
- Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.
- Francis Fratelli: Get the rope here. Slothy, Slothy, jumprope Slothy.
- Jake Fratelli: What do you mean jump rope?
- Francis Fratelli, Jake Fratelli: Jumprope! Jumprope.
- [Sloths laughs]
- Francis Fratelli, Jake Fratelli: [singing] Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies...
- [Jake and Francis swing around Sloth to tie him up until Sloth tosses both of them]
- Sloth: [rips off his shirt revealing a T-Shirt with the Superman 'S' on the front] Sloth!
- Jake Fratelli: We're in deep shit now, Francis.
- Francis Fratelli: Oh, shit!
- Mama Fratelli: You're so quiet all of a sudden you're the one they call "Mouth" aren't you?
- Mouth: [nods no] Mmm mm!
- Mama Fratelli: [proceeds to pull a very long pearl necklace out of Mouth's mouth while Francis ties Andy's hands] Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Is that all?
- Mouth: [mumbles] Mmm hmm.
- [Mama Frateli smacks Mouth on the back of his head and he spits out the rest of his share of the jewels]
- Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm going to commit Harri Krishna!
- Brandon Walsh: That's Hari Kari, Ma!
- Chunk: Hello, Sheriff's Office? I'd like to report a murder!
- Sheriff: Hold on, hold on a minute. Is that you again, Lawrence?
- Chunk: Listen, Sheriff, I know I've jerked you around before, but this is for real now. I'm in the Fratellis' basement, with this guy...
- Sloth: Rocky Road? Heh Heh!
- Sheriff: Yeah, like that time you told me about the fifty Iranian terrorists who took over all the Sizzler steakhouses in the city?
- Chunk: Sloth, get back here! Sloth!
- Sheriff: Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on them?
- [as Chunk follows Sloth, the phone cord rips out of the wall. The Sheriff hears a dial tone]
- Sheriff: Lawrence?
- [Chunk and Sloth are chained up together]
- Chunk: Want a candy bar? Are you hungry? I got a Baby Ruth.
- Sloth: Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth!
- Chunk: Here you go.
- [Chunk tosses the candy bar to Sloth and it hits him in the head. Both scream]
- Chunk: I'm sorry, mister! I'm sorry!
- [Sloth rips his chains out of the wall and goes to pick up the candy bar. Then, he realizes he's free]
- Chunk: Gee, mister. You're even hungrier than I am.
- Mikey: [to Andy after she hits a wrong note on the piano] It's OK, you're a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes... just don't make any more.
- Sloth: Mama!
- Mama Fratelli: Come to Mama baby, come on.
- Sloth: Mama, you've been bad.
- Mama Fratelli: Awww. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good.
- Sloth: Yeah!
- Mama Fratelli: Awww. You remember that song I used to sing to you?
- Sloth: Yeah!
- Mama Fratelli: You were little back then?
- [Mama Fratelli comforts Sloth]
- Mama Fratelli: [singing] Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks the cradle will fall...
- Sloth: Break! Fall!
- Mama Fratelli: No! I only dropped once.
- Sloth: Ahh!
- [Sloth carries Mama Fratelli to the plank]
- Mama Fratelli: Well, maybe twice. No Sloth! Put me down!
- Brandon Walsh: My new tires! They popped my new tires those son of a... I'm going to kill...
- [Brandon takes a little girl's bike]
- Brandon Walsh: [to the girl] Thanks I owe you one.
- Girl: My bike! I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike.
- Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
- [lifts up Willie's patch]
- Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
- [takes a breath from his breathalizer]
- Mikey: We have a lot in common, you and me. One-Eyed Willie. You're the first Goonie.
- [the rest of the Goonies show up]
- Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
- [pauses]
- Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
- Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
- Mikey: [calls for a bathroom break] Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
- [Brandon heads to a different cave]
- Mikey: Brand, where're you going?
- Brandon Walsh: This is the *men's* room.
- Mama Fratelli: Four waters. Is that all?
- [Mikey, Chunk, Data and Mouth nodded]
- Mouth: No! I want the veal scalopini.
- Mikey: [whispers] Shut up Mouth.
- Mouth: I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981.
- [Mouth makes a kissing sound with his fingers]
- Mama Fratelli: [grabs Mouth by the chin] The only thing we serve is tongue.
- [Mouth enters his tongue, she uses the pocket knife, three boys shocked and covers their mouths]
- Mama Fratelli: Do you boys like tongue?
- [Mikey, Data and Chunk shook their heads, she laughs and puts his pocket knife away]
- Mama Fratelli: That's all?
- Mouth: Yeah, yeah.
- Mama Fratelli: Sit down!
- [Four boys are trying to sit down. But, Chunk falls off the chair]
- Mouth: Are you all right, Chunk?
- Irene Walsh: Boys, I am taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen, I am going to be back in about an hour. Mikey, I want you kept inside. Brandon, if he's coming down with asthma, I don't want him out in the rain.
- Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.
- Irene Walsh: I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. He takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi...
- Brandon Walsh: Shit, Ma!
- Irene Walsh: I don't like that language but that's exactly what you're going to be in. And you, Data.
- Data: Data,
- Irene Walsh: Data,use the back door from now on okay?
- Andy: [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
- Brandon Walsh: You've got a great body.
- Andy: How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look... like him?
- [the Goonies stumble upon Chester Copperpot's skeleton]
- Andy: [screams] AAAAAHHHH!
- Data: Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
- Mikey: No.
- Mouth: Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
- Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
- Mikey: You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
- Brandon Walsh: Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
- Mikey: That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.
- Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.
- Mama Fratelli: Why not?
- Chunk: Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
- Jake Fratelli: [checks his wallet] Niente. Kids must've cleaned him out.
- Mama Fratelli: Sure, right before they ate him!
- Francis Fratelli: Stupid.